And Somehow I Know There's A Time For Every Star To Shine.

Haven't posted in a month or so.. dang. Glad to see no one has missed me. haha, not really. Well, tis the Christmas season. Last year at this time I was a wreck. I don't think I've changed too much but I'm a better wreck.. you could say. I am more accepting of what is going on than last year. Crazy how time does a lot to you. Anyway, I turn 18 in less than a week. :/ I'm a little nervous. I will be legal, and even though my parents aren't forcing me out.. (thankfully) I feel like I should be more independent and I've failed to do so. I understand being a teen is semi-easy/hard. Your parents help you with a lot. They will continue to do so until you die. But somehow your mind wants to be independent. As much as I wish I could be, its difficult. I haven't really worked in the job field. Its just a whole lot to deal with at once. You have to get set up to go to college, hoping to be able to pay for it all. Depending on the job you want. You want to be financially set up in a way because you feel aweful living off your parents. You're not bad til you're 23+ thats when you know you're bad. Still, growing up seems to be the scariest thing as of now. Where does all this money come from? One point, you're gonna buy a car thats 20,000+ And a place to live. Plus the food and hygiene care.. it just is a lot. Seems like you'll never have a break in life to pay for it. Oh man, I just need to stop thinking about it and enjoy this last part of the year. Off depressing topics.. I just watched All About Steve. OH my, another movie to go on my list of favorites. I love the message. I don't know if I fully understand it but from what I get, I like it. haha, Plus Sandra Bullock is my hero! I love her as an actress. She is amazing, all her movies she is in lately.. amazing. :) AND... Bradley Cooper is so freakin' sexy. Seriously, his movies are awesome as well. haha, ;) But back to All About Steve... Great message. Be unique and love it. Don't let anyone make you feel like you should be "normal". Who wants to be "normal"? Seriously, we weren't born to be normal.. we were born to stand out. Have something different in all of us. I mean yes there will be people who are unique together because there is over millions and billions of people on the Earth. No one knows exactly what is "right" in this world, so dare to be wrong. Be colorful when others are gray.. It can only lead to something good I believe. Chances are, people will like you better when you don't try to be with the "in" crowd. But don't change you who are naturally just cause you don't fit in. It is a good movie, watch it. I will admit its a little weird. But I like weird:) The end credits song is super amazing as well.. :D Its called "Everybody got their something" by Nikka Costa. Listen to the words, its a great message. Makes you feel good about your unique-ness. haha, I enjoy movies:) My other favorites lately are: Princess and the Frog, Proposal, Hangover, and a few more. haha, Movies and music almost complete my life. :/ Hmm, can't decide if thats good or bad.. oh well. Goodnight:D

P.S- I will find my nitch in this world... one day. :)

But If You, Pull Up To My Window.

Its only been forever since I've posted on here. haha, I'm still alive! :D Anway, its my senior year. You'd think I'd be having so much fun.. well I'm not. Its fun, but not what I thought it would be? I am not sure. And lately everything is bugging me. I think its just school that gets me in weird moods. Because I can be fine on the weekends. I rarely don't do too much on the weekends though, so its weird. I'm just in a bad or moody mood lately. I feel very distant from people and I don't know why. I think too much, so I think that has something to do with it. It affects how I act, talk, and etc. I don't know. I'm just ready for a change! :/ High school is overrated.. yeahh. Well, my senior drill pictures were taken a while back. And I want to put them on the net.. well.. we can't figure out how to work our old scanner. Its funny. You should see my parents try to figure it out.. haha. :D Silly old people! I love them. Well, I guess I can tell you what I've been up to lately, whether you care or not. :) So, I went to homecoming this year with my best friend Vannah :) It was soo much fun. We went to the state fair.. and yeahh :) Uhm, I started clinicals for my CNA class. They're okay. Not too bad but somewhat annoying. It just makes you think what you're really living for now. And what you want out of life. Being young really is an amazing thing. Hmmm, I got a new neice this week :) Taytum Betty Jo :D She is adorable. So little and cute.. awww. I love little babies. Long as I can give them back to their parents. haha, I couldn't be a teenage mommy. I'd cry my eyes out. I'd so give it up for adoption because I obviously can't provide well for a child. I can't even do well on my own.. seriously. Also I took the ACT finally :/ It wasn't very fun. They didn't give me much time on the writing test :( I think I did so bad. I tried but my thoughts just didn't get organized til 5 minutes left. It sucked. I hope I did okay, then I took a 5 hour nap and woke up to biology homework! :( This weekend hasn't been much fun for me. But I guess for school you have to sacrifice some things in life. And we need school. But I don't like it. I won't drop out cause that is just dumb. But still.. homework sucks! :( I'm just ready to be done and living a relaxing life. haha, dang. I have a while for that! Halloween is coming up! And I am going to be a nerd :) I don't know what I"m doing that night, but I'mma be a nerd.. :D haha. Purple one. Ha. So I've decided some mormons are hypocrites.. yup. I can be too. Don't think I think of myself as perfect. I don't. I'm no where near perfect! :/ So the Lost Boys is R. And my drill team wants to watch it. One time at drill, I said "hey you know its R right?" And some reply, "yeah, but its from the 80's." Okay, that is so dumb! It is still R no matter what decade it comes from! It hasn't changed since it was made. The rating is still R. So face facts, its R. And no where does it say in the rules of the mormons that we can watch R movies from the 80's. It just says R. So duhh! And if we watch it, then what will we tell our young teenage kids when they ask "hey mom, can I watch Saw?" and we reply "no, its R". They'll say "but its from the year 2000.. so its okay now." Is that really what we want to deal with? I mean if you're still mormon when you have kids and if you follow the rules strictly or not. I mean Saw isn't terrible but it gives some people nightmares. I'm a wimp at scary or gory movies. So to me, they freak me out. I get so paranoid. So yeahh, I just had to get that out cause I think its dumb! But whatever. I think I'm going to be done now.. haha. Night :)

Btw- Joe cut his hair :/ I don't know if I like it...

One Fifty One Rum, Pineapple Juice & Malibu Caribou.

Well, I guess I'll blog to entertain myself and maybe update anyone that might be following me, if they care. I don't know. I haven't blogged in a while. There isn't much point to it. I mean I have ideas and new thoughts all the time but I'd rather tell you than blog about it. haha, wow. uhm, I think since school has started I've decided this year will be okay possibly. I'm taking easy classes right now so its not bad.. haha. Maybe I should challenge myself for senior year but nahh, that doesn't sound fun. I'm not good with stress and a busy busy schedule. I already have it now.. :/ I do wayy to much in one week. I think its good but at the same time sad. I want more free time some days. I start clinicals next week!! :) I'm so excited. I love my CNA class. It will be super helpful getting a job after this class.. so yeahh. Uhm, last weekend was the homecoming dance. I took Vannah. My best friend :) We had a blast! And no I'm not lesbian.. guys just suck and don't ask girls to dances sometimes, so I don't want to suffer cause of it! ha. We went to the state fair, and got sweet tattoos! Then we hit up the homes to get ready and what not. The dance was major fun! I thought we looked so gorgeous ;) hahah, then we chilled after the dance. It was a good date overall. And I don't like asking someone to dances or having someone ask me cause sometimes, its not who you want to ask you. Or its not who you like that asks you. Only sometimes though. So yeah, its crazy. I mean, some people get bad dates. My friend, guy of course, took this girl and fell super hard for her. Bad idea, she's a beezy. So yeahh. Sometimes dates suck. haha, anyway.. that was fun though. I kinda want Christmas to come cause my birthday will be soon!! :) ahhh, so yeah, that is my blog.. haha. Just wanted to update you on my life a lil bit I guess. If you don't read it, I don't care.. haha. :) Night! :)

Before I fall Too Fast, Kiss Me Quick.

ahhh, senior year is sooon! :/ I can't believe I'm still up and I have to be at school soon! holy freak. I don't know if I'm ready. But I've decided that my summer has been everything that I wanted it to be :) I had an amazing summer. I didn't think it was what I wanted when it was all happening but now that I look back at all the things I did do this summer, and wow. It was too amazing. I have to thank my best friends for that too :) Jordyn is amazing! She helped me through a lot this summer and helped me stay not so bored. And Vannah wasn't here the first little bit of summer but she eventually came and we've been having fun ever since. I really haven't seen much of Britt, but she has been there for me when I needed her. Then I met Jackie this summer, and I'm so freakin' glad cause she rocks. I love her so much. They all are amazing in different ways. They have taught me so much and helped me through a lot. Without them, this summer wouldn't have been so amazing. Seriously, I'm glad I've learned so much. I wish summer wasn't over for once. I have changed and grown up. I hope at least haha. I've decided I like my life style. I can't wait til I'm older and can do it on my own with friends more, haha. But this life style is not for everyone, and I'm glad. haha. Yeahh. I grew to love Disney Channel this summer. And 64 Zoo Lane :) They are amazing. So I want to write more but I can't, I'm too tired. So I'm off to set my alarm clock and go to bed :) Senior year, here I come! ha.

btw- live chats are so cool :)

I've Been Wishing On A Star..

Okay, so I'm blogging to get out a bit of anger/fustration? Idk, its just something bugging me. So today at church, (yes I finally went.. lol jk) our young women's lesson was about music and how it plays a big part in your life kinda deal. I believe that. I know music influences me, and I believe I listen to pretty good music. Its not bad or anything, its good for the general part. haha, it may not always be uplifting but its either a good beat or good lyrics. I love dancing to music, so if its a good beat, and I can dance, then yes I generally like it. Or if the lyrics mean something to me, yeah I like it. I do believe some of my songs do have some vulgar or such lyrics but I find it so funny. I think it just makes me laugh or smile, so I like to listen to it. But the teacher started off saying do you know these lyrics, she told us the lyrics to "the climb" by Miley C. Then she tells us of the lyrics to "I am a child of god". After this she says, whats the difference between these two songs? To me, the climb is better because its more fun to listen and sing too. haha, But we're at church and so they say something like "one is more spiritual.." or close to that. She mentions something about the climb not being a good song exactly or what not and that got to me. I like the climb, true its not my personal favorite but its a good song. To those who are lost and don't know where to go, its helpful. Yes this song isn't exactly spiritual or whatever but to a lost soul, its amazing. Or another good song like it, ya know? Maybe one song means something to you but it doesn't mean as much to someone else.. but thats okay. There is so much music in today's world that everyone can have a different favorite, its not like back in the old days haha. My favorite song is, just kidding, I have two! They are "she is love" by Parachute and "one and only" by teitur. These songs stand out to me, they are so beautiful. I think its cause right now they say my outlook on life or love kinda thing. And these songs aren't about god, or spiritual-ness. But they are about something much more to me? Idk. Its hard to explain I guess. Not everyone wants to listen to gospel music all the time, I love the different styles of music. I don't listen to them all but they are out there if I ever do. As much as the gospel music is helpful and good, its not? The teacher mentioned that songs like the climb aren't exactly bringing confidence into us and songs like I am a child of god do. Yeah that song does but not in the way I want? I like the climb because its not exactly confident. The lyrics "Every step I'm taking, Every move I make feels Lost with no direction My faith is shakingmy faith is shaking". I think these are more me than "I am a child of god and he has sent me here, has given me an earthly home with parents kind and dear". I relate more to the climb lyrics than those. Sad? Cause I'm not always sure of my self, I sometimes feel like I don't know where I"m going. Ya know? Most teens do so its easier to relate too. I think it is at least. Idk, it just seems weird to go to religious music for help. I know the lyrics to more non-religious than I do religious. haha, I feel like such a non-religious person. :( ahhh, religion is just too confusing. It easier just to not believe most days. Hmm, my after life will probably be bad haha, sad life. oh well. But just the lesson bugged me. Then she says at the end, to delete bad music off your ipod.. ha, I have over 1,400 songs on my ipod. If I get rid of the bad then that leaves me with 30 or 40 songs in total :( No wayy. I like my bad music! :) Sorry, its just me. I don't know if you got my drift or if you think I"m totally weird. I don't know how to say it but somehow it means something to me. I'm never able to say exactly what I mean, and I don't like it but finding the words is hard sometimes. So yeah, this is kinda weird.. or awkward.. so bye? Have a good day... :)

You Can't Have World War Three.

Ah, geez. I feel like I haven't blogged in forever! hahah, sad life. Anyway, I don't know if this blog will change your life or what not but I guess it will update you on the un-crazy life I have. :) Well, I went to Vegas the second to last week of July, so the third week? lol, it was fun! Vegas is hot. Wow, You could go outside in your swim suit and still sweat to death. But I don't think you should do that, unless you want people to stare at you. In a bad way. haha, The reason I went to Vegas was to learn how to be a stripper ;) jk, haha, uhm no I went to Vegas for a dance convention. It was soo cool. It reminded me why I love dance so much. Dance is really amazing, drill just made me forget that. So its called the Tremaine Dance Camp, I think. And the best dancers in the world are teaching you dances for three days straight. So you get up and go dance from 7 a.m. to like 4 p.m, it was long but fun. And so many people were there! I'd like to say they were all girls but I had some guys in my senior classes. It was cool. I love male dancers lol. They are so amazing, and they make dance even more beautiful. Its sad to say but sometimes female just don't make it as pretty as male. haha. Crazy! Oh and there was the Tremaine dance company or whatever, and they had amazing dancers! I loved watching them dance. I would watch them all day if I could. I loved how they would partner up too. I like watching couples dances more than single dances. Ya know? Especially when its male and female ones :) They can be so beautiful. I wish I could dance that way. I'd love too. haha, The Tremaine dance company is so lucky. They get to travel all over and dance. I'm so jealous. And they get to dance with amazing choreographers and dancers! These people changed my life. I saw some good and bad dancers, either way it was fun. I didn't really make friends. I met this one girl, she lives in Colorado though. So yeah, she was cool though. Besides that I looked like a loner. Hhaha, so while in Vegas I got a temporary tattoo. And the ink had to dry so people were staring at me as we walked the strip. I got it on my left hip btw. It was so cute. So yeahh, I had people staring at my skin that I usually cover up. haha, at first it was weird but then I got use to it. Uhm, I went with Jamie and Taryn. That was fun. We shared a king or queen bed! ha, three girls in one bed. Good times. On the first night we went to Margaritaville! haha, that was so fun. Some guy on stilts stared at me for the longest time, he was kinda creepy but then he left to talk to other customers and then came back. And I said hi and he smiled. So he wasn't too creepy. That place has good food and fun entertainment. haha, kinda slutty though. This girl in a bikini? slided down some waterslide and danced around. I bet men love this. So yeah, that was fun. Uhm, the next day we went to Cirque de Soleil. Duuuude that is so amazing and scary! ahhh, It was the Beatles Love show :) I love the beatles.. :) It was amazing though. I can't believe people do that will their lives, its a cool job. haha, I hope to go see another Cirque de Soleil soon! I love them. And if you take me there, I'd love you forever. :) haha, uhm, then friday we just came home after our dance classes. I liked Vegas, I want to go there next year for a roadtrip with friends. Like a senior trip. haha, it'd be soo cool. Oh, and thursday night, my chaperones decide to go gambling at one a.m.! wow, that was fun. They learned how to play 21 and yeah. I got kicked out of the casino :( Gay security guard.. I hate him. I was just watching! geez, so I got to sit at one a.m, on the curb of the strip in Vegas. I love people staring at me. Its awesome :D I found a bible page on the strip too. Jesus is in Vegas ;) So yeah, that was my trip for the summer haha, my parents went to some place I forgot. Hmm, I was suppose to go with them but I didn't. Yeahhh.

Then I went to youth conference the last week of July! wow. You should be in shock! lol, jk. It was pretty fun. Not too bad, times it was boring, the leaders weren't thrilling but hey. Good times. Never forget those adventures. The best was when we went to Camp Williams and I got to attempt to play football with some cute guys :) haha, yeahh. Leaders weren't happy with me. haha, oh well. I hung out with Jordyn a lot in July! She is my love, haha. We have amazing times together. I wish we lived closer.. haha, :) So while I'm blogging I'm also watching Jonas concert videos :) haha, I"m still obsessed.. haha, I love it. Yeahh. Well, I guess I can get into more personal issues without going too far into them now. So boys suck. Usually their own but yeah. They just think you they can use you whenever and don't expect any consequences from it. WTH. No way, when you deal with girls, lets be honest.. we get emotional. Whether we tell you about it or not, we do. We get hurt and end up learning a lesson from it. But thats after we get over it. During the heartbreak part, where we are emotional, we're messed up. We often cry, yell, become raunchy. Face facts, its a girl thing. Every girl does it. I know I sure do. So there is this boy, and he pisses me off. I hate him but I unfortunately can't live without him. Dang, I hate you. He thinks I can't be with another guy but he doesn't want me? WTF. Are you kidding? How gay are you? Oh well, I've decided I"m just gonna piss him off now :) He will regret this decision to be a dick to me, he will. ha, Then this other guy is like annoying. geez, I am sorry if I ever annoy you. Please just tell me to shut up. It might hurt me, but do it cause I don't want to be annoying. I try not too. Another thing, this annoying guy has no grammar when he texts me. That bugs me so bad. Learn grammar! We're in school for a reason. Wake up now.. geez. But this annoying kid is cute in some way. Its weird. So yeah. Boys suck. I've decided I don't want to get close to boys unless we're just friends haha. Right now boys will only break your heart. Mmhmm, boys suck. Case closed. :) I've decided a new outlook on dating, and I'll wait for college to do it. haha, ;) It'll be fun and I'm going to become very talented lol.

So I watched Prince & Me.. Its so cute. SO fake, but cute none the less. I wish I had a prince who would wait for me. haha, these movies give bad hope to girls everywhere. Thats where we went wrong, movies such as princess ones when we were little kids ruined us. Boys aren't anything like them. Dang it.. But yeah, you should watch that movie. Its adorable. Hmm, well I blogged about my trip, boys suck, and a movie, yay! Uhm, so I"m off to go do something.. I don't know yet. SO peace out, (as cameron says is better) :D

P.S- I'm excited for Glee :)

Cut Off Jeans, Can You Get With That?

Well, I figured I'd blog about something before I left for a bit. Hmmm, So I've enjoyed July. Its been the best part of my summer :) I have hung out with Jordyn a lot. (which is why its been awesome) I really haven't done much all summer. I just relax and chill, do nothing at my house. haha. I'm lazy (: Its the best thing ever though. Cause soon I'm going to have to find a job to pay bills or for school. Next summer is going to be so different. This is my last summer to be a lazy teen. Its crazy. Time flies by so fast. I can almost remember when I just got done with 6th grade and I was nervous/excited to go to jr. high. That was a huge life change. Then when 9th grade was over and I was a little scared to go into high school. Now its almost over. I'm a freakin' senior. Top of the school type thing, isn' it? I remember thinking to be a senior will be so cool. Yeahh, now that I'm a senior, it doesn't seem so cool :/ I want to go back to when I was wishing I was a senior lol. Have you ever noticed that people who come up with the most popular things are like normal people? haha, I don't know what I'm trying to get at with that sentence but like someone made blog spot.. now they are probably somewhat rich and famous. Or twitter, wow. I didn't know so many people had twitter. Its cool but crazy how celebrity's have them. And I don't know if its actually them, (I tend to think it is) but they're just tweeting about their lives. And everyone is so interested. So if you follow a musician or an actor or whatever. They tweet their days. Its cool. Have you ever noticed how many people will follow a celeb but celebs really aren't following as many? hhaa, it makes sense but its funny still. I follow the Jonas Brothers and they have over 200,000 followers but yet they follow 0. haha, you'd think they would follow their band mates at least. haha, some celebs do follow their friends. Its cool. Or what about facebook or myspace? Those are pretty popular, myspace not so much lately but still. I went to this party thing on saturday and this lady from Utah made this purse that you only change the outside. So now she is probably rich.. cause a lot of women think the purses are so cool. Which they are just not my style. I kinda want to invent something that everyone needs, haha. Not a stupid thing that I have to try and make everyone think they need but something they actually need. Or maybe I could write a book... (yeah right) ha, I don't know. I want to be somehow famous? or maybe I don't. I have no idea. I just know that my future holds somethings big. I just don't know how big. But I really do want to be a musicians friend.. like a famous one. So then I can go on tour with them :) haha, or be in a band as like a back up person or something. I'm not sure. I know I just want to do something like it, ha. Yeahhh. So last night our power went funky on us. My room, the kitchen, and downstairs was having issues. so I had to watch my parents t.v. and yeahh. I ended up writing in my journal. I wrote about this summer :) Its been a pretty okay one. I just have memories I want to save cause they seem pretty important to me.. haha, maybe not you but me! I hope you save your memories. Cause when we get old, I don't think we'll remember as much. That'll be a sad day. Thats why I try to write everything down. So I can remember I did have a good life. Maybe it won't be a good book but it'll be great memories to me. haha, so yeah. Its this little book I got from church. I didn't go to girls camp but I got a journal anyway, ha. I took up half the book last night. And I'm not even done writing in it! wow. It'll be a good book. haha, I've had like 4 diaries in my entire life I think.. crazy. 9th grade year was probably the best one. I wrote everything down. haha, now I write like nothing. Dang, I should write more. Hmm, well I"m done blogging, I didn't even really blog. ha, Have a good day :)

& week! cause I will be gone until friday or saturday... :) yay vegas here I come! bahaha.

Peace Out (:

If Its You And Me Forever, I'd Be Alright.

Well, unlike cool people I don't really have a life. haha, I sorta do but I don't. HA. Hmm, this week has been fun? I don't know. Monday I hung out with Jordyn, we just chilled at Bodie's and yeah. Uhm, Tuesday was pretty good. I went swimming twice, also went on a bike ride, and kinda went shopping. I was more on a hunt haha. So yeah. Good eventful day. Wednesday, I hung out with my family! I went to Taryn's Day Care for the day. After my orthodentist. So yeah, little kids are cute and crazy. OH and full of energy. They can keep going for hours. Its fun yet exhausting. After hanging out at T's we drove all the kids to my house and they swam. It was fun. Most all the family was there so it was a fun night. I left for Jordyn's house around nine. ha, I slept over. It was good. Hanging out with her is fun. We do crazy things and laugh way too hard. I came home today around 11 cause she was headed to her grandma's to see a movie. So yeah, I came home and relaxed. I got so bored I curled my hair. Its super cute!! :) haha, I'm bored most my time. Yeahh. Uhm, I got new speakers this week! My mom finally got her stereo system back. I mean my stereo speakers aren't like pro but they are pretty bomb. They get the job done. My arm hurts.. :( I don't know why. And I just received a picture message from Jordyn! haha, Thought you'd like to know. :D
So I will now admit to my obsession publicly.. haha. I have an obsession, small one, for the Jonas Brothers. Its getting a lil bit bigger every few days though. I mean This is good I'm admitting to it but I don't think its going away for awhile.. ha. I have over 1,300 songs on my itouch and I only listen to about 30 or so of them. And those songs are... you guessed it, by the Jonas Brothers! Yup. Obsession? Its close I think. Danng, I have no life so I just listen to them and search up stuff on them. They have interesting lives. I feel bad for them cause of all the media stuff but still. They are amazing. I found this girl today who is going to 45/50 concerts of theirs this year. She is my hero! haha, Her and her mommy are just traveling around to their concerts this summer. Thats like an ultimate road trip. I think it sounds fun. I'm somewhat jealous. haha, That is something to remember for when she gets older. I'd love to just follow some band around on tour. ha, No cares besides following them. Its a tid bit creepy but what isn't in this world anymore? I think she is cool. haha, so yeah. :) I would not like to be a celebrity of any type. Your life isn't yours anymore, and if it is, you must keep it very private which is very few celebs. Your love life, your family life, every bit of your life is basically gone. That kinda sucks. I mean some realize and some don't that celebrities are just humans like us. haha, I was like that at one point. But at one point I finally got over the idea of their status and realized they are like you and me. Searching for answers in this world, but they are doing it a totally different way cause they were able to share their talents with the world. So its crazy. It would suck yet be so cool. haha, I kinda want a celebrity friend. So I can travel with them to new places and such. haha, maybe I'll get lucky when I'm older. Well, I'm off to go watch t.v or do something, I don't know. ha, I'll blog later. PEACE:)

P.S- Vannah comes home soon :)

Hold On Tight, Its A Roller Coaster Ride.

duuude, I haven't blogged in the longest time! wow. Or maybe I have and I just forgot? Idk, either way I'm blogging now! :) (this should either make you happy or sad, but if you are sad about it why are you reading my blog?) Well I guess we can explain my summer and get into the hairy details of last night! haha. Thats a lot you might think but think again, I'm so un-cool. (Got that Sean?) I seriously spend my summer sleeping, swimming, and watching T.V. Its kinda boring but nice cause next summer I won't be able to do such things. Anyway, back to this summer.. Its been depressing? I think that word describes it, or lonely. Either way, I spent half the time with Jordyn almost. She is my best friend and I love her. haha, We ususally chill in Tooele and hang out. Vannah is gone for the summer basically so that sucks, glad I have Jordyn. If I didn't I'd be spending summer with my cat, dog, and family. haha, Which isn't bad per say but isn't exactly the summer you want to tell people? So yeah. But last week I went to the zoo and swimming with Jordyn. It was way fun. The zoo is too hot though, dang. The mist spray only helps a bit though. Our pool finally got set up :) I went swimming in it this week and last I believe. Its quite fun for a smaller pool. Uhm, I have July off from drill :) Which is sooo nice! You have no idea. I like drill but I love the breaks where I don't have it too. haha, I might be getting lazier with age.. dang :( not good. So yeah, July has been nice! I'm enjoying it. So I basically went through my entire summer so far. Kinda sad in a way. haha, but last night was AMAZING!! My sister's hubby's brother has a camera company thing, and he let the stadium of fire people use his cameras and such. So for a payment, he got tickets to see stadium of fire. (btw they were field seats.. and front row seats! :D) Well he gave the tickets to my sis and her hubby, and my sis was so cool and thought to get me one! :D haha, Yay. I got so lucky to go.. Ahh, Jonas Brothers were there! :) They were so awesome. haha, I was pretty close too. Not as close as the obsessed girls but somewhat close. I got good pictures, that is for sure! Dang, they are amazing. The girls were going crazy! Geez, When SheDaisy played, mostly everyone sat in their sits and sang along or whatever. But the Jo Bro's, no way. People were screaming and dancing and singing. Right by the stage sticking their hand up hoping that one of the brothers grabs it. haha, it was fun though :) Thank you amazing sister :) OH. Today I went shopping! haha, I got a new swim suit and its ADORABLE! Then I went to Hollisters and got some cute jeans and a shirt and yeah. It was fun. I like shopping. Ha, I love how I'm blogging about my summer in my room. And I forget to write that I cleaned my room super good thursday and friday. I de-junked it you could say. It looks awesome. It might only stay this way for the summer but its all good. I still have to clean out under my bed though :( It'll be scary. I haven't cleaned out under there in the longest time.. uh oh. But besides my bed and inside my closet.. it looks awesome :) haha, I even cleaned out my shoes.. dang. I'm pro! nahh, just bored. ha. So the other day I tried to play Guitar Hero on hard.. I suck! :( I can't even make it through the opener.. dang. Any pro's want to help me? :) haha, I am pretty good at medium its just that stupid fifth button that throws me off. Gahh, Even though I have time, I don't want to waste it playing a video game. haha, might be more useful than T.V, ha. Hmm, I want to learn how to be an amazing tap dancer this summer. I just don't know where to go to do it.. and my shoes are kinda pricey. But I want to do it sooo bad! I don't know. I know what I want just not how to get it and I think I'm scared to go after things I want. Its weird. Hmm, Anyway.. I'm bored of this, off to do something less public.. like watch T.V haha, :D

Goodnight & Goodbye :)

haha, thats a title of a Jo Bro song.. :D

oh and Happy Independence Day... :) I hope you had a great one. I know I did, and I'm glad to be American. Wouldn't have it any other wayyy :)



P.S- I forgot my mom got me a pink chi straightner and its amazing. I love it. My hair is now soft and pretty. But my pink is finally fading :( LOve you moommmmyy :)

You're Playin With Your Life This Ain't No Truth or Dare.

So I haven't really wanted to blog. I don't even know if I want to blog now.. haha. I will anyway its not as if I'm doing anything tonight. I slept in too long today! :/ I thought it was earlier but it was not when I looked at my clock. Then I sat there in my bed and didn't want to do anything cause I felt as if I had wasted the whole day. Dannng. Sometimes summer sucks. So I won't give away all details but these past few days have been interesting. I still have done close to nothing with the exception of a few things. So person #1 is kinda weird. I use to like them more than I do now. They just kind of bug me right now and that is bad. But they did some weird things this week that made me want to like hide haha. Some things in life just aren't meant to be seen or heard man.. its true. And the two other people who I talked to about agreed with me so yeah. I truely believe I can wait for a VERY long time now to hear or see such things again haha. It may sound bad, but it really isn't. I'm just bored and going along with whatever, :D Well I'm sure you know but I'm posting anyway, Michael Jackson died yesterday. Thats so crazy/sad. I watched a lot of his videos today and yesterday. He was an amazing dancer. Truely he was so amazing at dancing that he invented his own moves that changed the dancing world. Ever attempted the moonwalk? He was pro at it cause he made it! haha. Thats crazy. He also has the coolest music videos ever. Bad is the best dancing one by far. He seriously dances for the entire time. Not only was he wa pro dancer but a great singer as well. His songs are legends haha. Thats how you can describe them. Its the only way, haha. I like "the way you make me feel" the best I think. Its fun to dance too. One time during pottery, Jacqui, me, and Carly did a dance to it, Lol. Good times. So I love how when he dies everyone googles, twitters, and etc about it. Plus everyone goes out to buy all his CD's and such. Thats kinda funny. I decided to read his biography cause his life was full of media coverage and you never knew what was true really. So to answer my questions, I read it. His life was kinda sad and depressing. From his bad childhood full of abuse to getting addicted to drugs due to media stress. Then all the charges that were filed against him falsely. Dang. No wonder he had problems. I never paid attention to his life much but I remember when his skin color changed. I thought he bleached it himself but I found out he had some disease that like lighting changed his skin tone. That is weird. Its like vitalgio or something. I don't remember but it was weird. Plus he had like 4-5 nose jobs.. wow. I understand the first two but the rest are just interesting. Yeah, I liked his biography it was quite entertaining. I believe media ruined his life. Stupid media. haha, anyway, thats it. I'm bored and don't want to seem obsessed, ha. (: Have a fun friday night!

P.S- He has the best songs ever.. :)

In The City of Dreams, You Get Caught Up In The Schemes.

Its officially summer time. I don't know if I'm excited or kinda sad. Its weird cause I like school, it provides my social life in a way. Gives me something to do during the day. I mean I have drill, its fun and all but just doesn't hit the spot? I don't know. During my junior year, I changed and I guess I lost friends. Or people who I thought were better friends than they actually were? I mean, I still talk to some of them. And we are on good terms, which I like but its not how it use to be. I miss it. I know changing is needed sometimes but I don't like it. I don't act very good with changes. My junior year was definitely interesting. I started out with friends that I didn't exactly end the year with. I'm glad my bubble of what I thought was happiness popped though. (haha, thats a weird phrase) I need to realize people will be nice to your face but mean behind your back. About 70-80% of people are like that, myself included. I try not to be. Hmmm, even if it wasn't a superb year, it was a decent year. It taught me a lot and helped me realize what I need to change and not change. I let things happen that shouldn't have, oh well. They happened, I don't regret them. Just miss them. Odd. Off of that sad/depressing stuff, haha. Summer has started out pretty good. Last week of school I hung out with people I've never really hung out with so it was fun. This week has been pretty good. Its just been Granger camp. It hasn't been bad though, I've enjoyed it actually. It was crazy, the hip hop teacher told me that I was pretty good at stompin' and yeah. I find it hard to believe.. haha. I don't think I have one style of dance I'm exactly good at. I'm pretty okay at all styles. I think I'd suck at ballroom though, haha. It was really crazy day. It was Emilie, Lyndsie, and me doing the stompin' at the end of the class. Three white girls rockin' it out. hahah, It was fun. I forgot the stomps and claps though at times. I always forgot parts of the dances when we "performed" it for the group. Even though I wasn't amazing, I had fun. Kickline was hard though, I hope I can do well this year. haha. I've decided the Silhouettes are pretty good this year. We're not amazing or anything.. yet. But we're pretty good. We do good at all the tasks that are asked of us. We don't exactly quit or give up, cause we know we have the team supporting us :) Its gonna be a good year for drill :) I can feel it! haha, Its in my soul. I'm not so sure about how I will do this last year though. I'm worried a bit. Ehh, It'll work out somehow. I hope besides drill, I do something amazing this summer. I kinda want it to be a summer I can remember. Hmmm, we'll see what the future brings.

Something on a more personal level, I am quite worried I'll never find anyone as good as you. You fit me so well, I don't know what I'm doing without you. I'm learning how to survive but its hard. I'll make it through and it will be worth it in the end. You came into my life for a reason, whether I know it now or learn it later. There is a reason. I'm somewhat dependent on people. More than I should be, ya know? I like the idea of independence but thinking back to the fun times having someone there, I like depending on them. Its probably not good. Any ideas on how to save myself before I destroy myself? Ehh.

Goodnight :)

Everybody Got To Cut Loose,

So I went to two seminary graduations today and wow they are boring! Geez, the second one was the worst cause they kept talking forever. They just wouldn't shut up and yeah. But the reason I decided to blog again today is because after watching the MTV Movie Awards, I've decided Twilight is gay!! That movie won so many awards that it didn't deserve. I like Twilight but not that much. It was cool before it got to be this huge thing and everyone just loves it. Don't get me wrong I still think its cool, I just don't think it deserves awards over other better movies. Yup, I'm not a huge fan of Twilight. But I am excited to see the movie coming out for the second one. It looks pretty cool. Yup, thats all. Goodnight! :D

At First When There's Nothing..

I haven't blogged in a while.. it feels weird. I don't know, I just haven't felt a need too. I have thought about it and then decided "I'll just do it later." Then I end up not doing it later. Hmm. Well lately I've been thinking about what I'm going to do this summer. I have some things I want to get done but then I think about the fact I don't really hang out with many people so I'll be a loner in doing them. So it makes me sad. This summer I want to have fun and make a ton of crazy memories. But I'm worried it won't be that way cause how I've been acting for the past month. I don't know.. I guess I'm just lost. I love summer time though! The parks are the best. Oh and swimming. Eh, I don't know what to write anymore. My mind has been going crazy-er than usual. I think of too many things some days. I'm glad summer is here and we have less then a week of school left, well "real school" anyways. I'm done with the homework and listening to teachers prattle on about the lessons. Sure I like the lessons cause they are good but I just can't pay attention long enough. I just want to nap all day long and have fun. One thing I'm not too excited for per say is drill practices. Ah, six to nine. I'm not ready for that. I love coming home afterwards for a nap though :) Drill is fun and worth it all but I just suck at conditioning and running. I'm weak :/ oh well. It'll be my last summer! ahh. Thats so crazy. I can't believe next year is senior year. Do you think it will be how people describe it? This amazing and wonderful yet crazy year. In all honesty, doesn't it seem a bit sad to you? It is our last year in high school. We can't ever come back and have the same experiences, the only way to come back is to be a teacher but thats a different experience. Ya know. I'm excited to grow up but not that excited. I like being in high school and not having so much responsibility. I don't think I can handle it yet. Plus I'm worried I won't make it far in the world. People always talk about wanting to change the world and do so much when they get older but do they? We're meant to become something so big but do we really ever reach our great destiny? Do we become all we were suppose to be? I'm worried I won't. I want to actually do something with my life but I don't know what. At the moment I have no idea about my future. Sure I want to go to school and get a career I love. I just don't know how its going to happen, that might be the beauty of life but I don't like it. Ehh, I don't know. I am just rambling about nothing now :/ Have a good day and be safe.

I'm going to finish watching Flash Dance :)
btw, I love Footloose! ha.

Play That Funky Music White Boy.

In biology, we watched the movie Evolution. Wow. I'm in love with it, haha. So here is like my favorite part of the entire movie :) ENJOY. And if you buy me this movie, I'll love you forever =D






p.s- I got my top braces off and in two weeks I get my bottom braces off =)

Courage See Me Through, Heart I'm Trusting You.

Well I decided to follow the trend of some and do a blog of no name dropping but writing what I would say to certain people.. haha :) I know, I'm a copy cat. But hey, it was a good idea and yeah. There is good, bad, and just inbetween lol.

#1: duude, you're so gay and I really don't like you.
all you did was hurt me when you said you wouldn't.

#2: you're a beast! I love you so much, this year has
been amazing with you, and next year will be bomb!

#3: I miss hanging out with you. we use to be so close,
and now we're not :(

#4: I want to be closer with you, but we're not that
close. and I believe we will never be..

#5: my life would not be as amazing as it is without
you. you've been my friend for so long, I don't think
I could have survived as much as I did. even if I was
a pretty bad friend for a while, I'm sorry.

#6: you are the best! you're always there for me.. and
you always borrow my things, brat! haha. but you're
still someone I'll always love.

#7: its so sad that I'll always care for you.. you don't
deserve being cared for by anyone. I hope you end
up unhappy with your choices.

#8: be happy :) I love you and summer is coming
soon. so you can visit and things will get better,
even if it doesn't seem so right now.. :)

#9: I don't understand your ways, you're too shy
and very mean. but at times you make a lot of sense.
I'm glad I know you.

#10: you're so dumb yet you're smart. I'm glad you
have been in my life so long. I just wish you wouldn't
make bad choices right now.

#11: you're so flippin' cute! I just want to marry
you. haha, not really but I love hanging with you.
and I'm glad we get to spend time together.. even
if its lame. haha,

#12: you're stupid. I'll never forget you. I might
hate you but I can't forget you're stupid face.. :/
or what our friendship was.. you suck. stupid.

#13: you might be a bit crazy sometimes, but
I'm hoping you realize what you're doing right
now so you'll still be here later :) I love you so
much, you're one amazing friend! we have amazing
times together.. :)

#14: please don't forget me.. you know you'll
never find anyone better.


They are somewhat random, but whatever. I like them. haha, I think I'm going to go to bed though.. :) goodnight!

Easy Street, Where The Rich Folks Play.

Ugh, I'm so glad I leave for NYC soon. Its gonna be funn :) I can't say I'm that excited about the dance classes, lol. My body is super sore from I don't know what! Today at work though, I just didn't want to do anything but lay on the ground. haha, Some little girl joined me on the ground and kept telling me she was tired. She's cute. haha, I think my body is sore because I haven't slept much lately and at work on Monday(yesterday), I tried to do a tick-tock. It didn't work out as well as it has.. stupid tumbling. lol, I don't know why I'm sore but I just am.. its not much fun. The other parts of the NYC trip will be awesome though :) The touring of the city, the shopping, and the plays. ahhh, five days :) :) woohooo! (ever watched Sex and the City? Its filmed there! :D) I'm nervous about flying though. Because I haven't been through this new system of checking in bags and stuff.. it sounds so freakin' strict! I feel like I can't even take anything with me.. stupid terrorists. Ruin life for us. I remember when my brother-in-law proposed to my sister at the airport. Right when we got off our plane, he just proposed to her. It was so cutNe and crazy! Good ol' days. Oh geez, we have to be at the airport in like an hour.. :) I feel like watching Annie now.. lol. Just busting out singing the songs of Annie. I bet people in NY would just love it, haha. Then they'd know for sure I'm a tourist. I think they'll be able to tell anyway. I'm sure I'm going to be in awe at the city. I'll look like an idiot :/ oh well, I always do. hmmm, but yes I'm super happy I'm going to NY to get away from a few things for a few days. Running won't help but it will relax me for a while.. I'm actually quite upset about things right now. Stupid. Grrr. So yeah, I'll see you in five days, after my trip is over :) I'm going to take a lot of pictures!! xD BYE!

P.S- Today in drill we learned the Hannah Montana hoe down dance :) Its fun!

All I Want Is To Be With You.

Hmmm, heard Flo Rida's new song? Sugar.. :) Its a good song, it makes me sad whenever I hear it though. It is still a good song. I just think of the name Sugar Baby.. which makes me smile and makes me want to cry. haha, I believe I like the whole idea of caring for someone else, when you're in a relationship.. ya know. You don't think of yourself as much. You think of the other person. I like that.. Its nice knowing someone cares for you too. That if something was to happen to you, not just your family would care. Its a sweet thought. Its what I think I like most about the romantic sap movies.. haha. Just the thought of having someone else care for you is pretty amazing, to me at least. Well, I guess thats all I wanted to say. I don't want to ramble and yeah.. so goodnight! :)

Breeze Drifting On By.. You Know How I Feel.

duude, I love my best friend Brittani Baker :) Seriously, these few weeks she has really been here for me when I needed her most and she's just amazing! I couldn't survive life knowing I couldn't talk to her.. really, she is so awesome and my other half. So today we were talking about our future trips and we decided we're gonna go somewhere sunny. Well, as we were talking about places to go for our sunny vacation spot, a comment was made that made us both laugh. Plus it brought me back to my normal self more than I have been lately, (thus why I love her so much!) Here's my favorite few lines that just make me laugh:

-Well there is a lot of black guys there though..
- thats okay, I've always wanted black children.


You may not find it funny, but I think its hilarious :) It will always make me smile and realize life isn't sad and depressing as I think it is. Life does go on after bad times.. thats how you get to the happy times of your life. I forgot that I think, thats why I'm really not moving forward you could say. But I think I'll be doing better now with that comment in mind, and knowing that some people are just jerks and liars. That you can't trust them cause they tell so many lies that you get lost in them all. And once they're done with you.. they try to blame you! aha, how dumb are they. Anyway yeah.. I love Britt :) Simple as that.

Goodnight :)

Can't Stop The Hunger For Your Love.

Hmmm, for some reason I just want to talk about songs lately.. its like my life at the minute. I love music :) Well, I guess I can tell you I love the songs: Pool party by Aquabats, I think I'll be ok by Bayside, Breakdown by Forever The Sickest Kids, Wrapped up in you by Garth Brooks, Beautiful mess by Diamond Rio, Gossip by Breathe Carolina, Be ok by Ingrid Michaelson, and Follow me by Uncle Kracker. Its a lot I know.. but I love them all :) They bring good memories to my mind. Ones I'll never forget, haha. So Last night Iwent with Jordyn again.. It was fun. I love her. hahah, she's so crazy and just fun! I like spending time with her.. haha. Last night we watched House Bunny and Night at the Roxbury. They are so funny. I love House Bunny. But it kinda bugs me at the same time cause I can't stand how stupid she is.. really, are people that stupid?! And if so, how do we handle them? I'd just shoot them.. hahah. I really wouldn't but they bug me. Night at the Roxbury is so funny! :D I love that movie. Its amazing haha. I enjoy watching movies.. I still need to finish Seven Pounds and Slumdog Millionaire.. haha. Its hard to pay attention to movies lately. I was surprised I was able to pay attention to the two I watched last night. But they're funny. I noticed last night, I like to snack.. thats probably why I don't eat a lot in one meal. I usually have crackers or cereal or something to snack on with me at all times. I get hungry for little things like snacks a lot. But I really don't like to eat.. haha. Cause later it just comes out in a different form and we start the cycle all over again. I've blogged about this before.. its a weird cycle but it happens, we can't stop it. haha.. Yup. Eating is useless in a sense I think. So my sister lives at my house now and I never see her.. hahah. Is that sad? I mean I see her occasionally but you'd think I'd see her more. We did go on a drive this week though :) It was a good drive, we talked and laughed. I love her. I love my other sister too. They both mean the world to me. My family rocks. haha. Spring break has been kinda boring.. I know that I don't really help when I try to find things to do, I guess I don't try hard enough? I don't know. But I do know that I can't stop thinking about certain people and its bugging me. I really think that if I was talking to them that I'd be so much more happier. That the sun would shine and I'd be entertained all the time. I don't know if its true but I some how think it will be. Stupid. Ugh. I don't like myself right now.. I want to go back to normal. I'm not being my normal self and its not fun. hmmm, I guess time will change things.. hopefully. Well have a good day! :) Even though the weather kind of sucks.. haha. Bye!

You'll Think Of Me.

I like this song a lot :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xsb5VyLpKU4

go watch this video :)

Go Ahead And Cry Yourself To Sleep..

The more I get to know males, the more I like dogs.

He's the cutest, sweetest, nicest, greatest, most romantic,
most insensitive jerk I have ever met.

I love you for letting me feel what it's like to have everything,
But I hate you for letting me feel what it's like to LOSE everything.

You're so afraid to continue what we have, you know some
thing's there, you feel just as much as I do when you
touch me, you like it just as much as I do when you kiss me,
it's just you're pulling away now because you know that if
you don't pull away soon you might find yourself falling
in love and I don't think you're prepared for that.

Letting go isn't a one time thing.
It's something you have to do over and over
again....everyday.

I want to scream. I want to shout.
I want to have faith and never doubt.
I want to bend, I want to break,
to sleep and never wake.
To break down walls and to escape,
be alone and hide my face.
I want to feel, I want to touch.
I want to stop wanting you so much.

I may regret the way we ended, but I will never regret what we had.

I wish I was a kid again,
because skinned knees are
easier to fix then broken hearts.

It's like my mind knows what's right
but my heart is being retarded and still cares

How do you heal a broken heart?
I have no idea where to start because
everything I do reminds me of you

No matter who broke your heart, or
how long it takes to heal, you'll never
get through it without your friends.

You're Way Too Beautiful Girl,

For some reason I don't want to write about anything really.. I just want to write about some good songs that I've heard lately. So here is my list:

Gossip & Thats Classy by Breathe Carolina.
I first heard of them at the Take Action Tour.
They are amazing :D

Breakdown by Forever the Sickest Kids.
I just randomly started listening to them
and I like them a lot.

I Think I'll Be Ok, Winter, & Beautiful Girls by Bayside.
My friend told me to listen to a song of theirs and
now I'm just in love with them.. They are best! ha.

Where I Stood & All For Believing by Missy Higgins.
I've heard her on the radio, and I just fell in love
with the songs she sings.

Alcohol by Millionaires.
That song is just pure hilarious.
It makes me smile, and reminds me of Jordyn :)

Broken Heart, & This is for Real by Motion City Soundtrack.
They just sing amazing songs, and I'll always be glad
my friend told me about them.

Compliment Each Other Like Colors by Play Radio Play.
This song just makes me think about certain things,
and I smile even though I shouldn't. haha,

I Want Candy Dead by Geoffrey Paris.
Its so funny. I love this song.
It makes me smile even when I'm sad.


Yeah, thats all I want to name right now.
haha, I'm too lazy to think about any others..
so yeah. If you want give these bands a listen.
Peace out & enjoy your sunday! :D

There's No Sound Except For When Our Bodies Move.

Well, not much new in my life besides the same ol' drama that has been going on for a week or so. I believe it got worse though, haha. I didn't think it was possible to get worse than it was, but apparently its able to happen. You know when you're in a complicated situation, and you think to yourself "this isn't going to get any more complicated than it is now". Well weeks later when it is more complicated, you realize it was able to get more complicated than it was then. Your first complications now seem like simple easy things in life. So, its not very fun. Uhm, I've decided there should be no serious dating in high school. You can disagree with me cause this is just my opinion. The reasons for this opinion that is now formed in my brain is: its complicates your life. Especially if you're with someone and your natural way to talk is to flirt with the opposite sex. You don't mean too, and you like your boyfriend/girlfriend more than these guys/girls your talking to but it still comes out as flirting. If you can't handle your boyfriend/girlfriend flirting with others then you shouldn't be with them. We are only teenagers, and our minds go off of about 90% hormones. Hormones being what controls most of our actions and thoughts, we're bound to mess up and want to do things naturally. Plus another reason I don't think we should seriously date in high school is because this is a time for FUN. These are the years we're suppose to make mistakes and learn from them. If you aren't doing it now, when are you going to do it? When you're married and it is a really big problem? Why do you want to seriously date just one person when you're going to do that in your 20's? I want to have fun and enjoy life right now.. I don't want to be tied down to one person when I'm only in high school. Why are you wasting time with one person when you can be having fun with many? I'm not talking about kissing and having sex with a ton of people, control yourself that much, haha. I'm talking date other people, so go on a date once or twice with someone then date someone else once or twice and continue that cycle. Don't drag on the dates. How are you suppose to know if they are the right one or not if you haven't had a chance to see what else is out there. Honestly, we're in high school.. we're so young right now. We have some knowledge but not all knowledge that we're meant to have. Do you realize that from 0-30 is a good time of life to experiment, date around, make mistakes, and such? I mean I do want to find that right guy for me eventually but right now, no boy/girl wants to be absolutely serious. Its high school. We have a few years before we should get married depending on when you want to get married. I want to be married by 25-26, and so I still have years to look around and see if I find that one. I don't want to be single and 40. To me, that would be when my life sucks for sure.. but I would rather make my mistakes and learn from them now when I'm young and single then when I'm older and married. I think the mistakes we make as kids and teenagers aren't as bad to when we're adults and make the same mistakes. The consequences are totally different from when you're 13 compared to when you're 27. HUGE DIFFERENCE. We haven't even experienced college yet and you're ready to tie the knot with your high school sweet heart?! Sure its a cute story, but I believe only 10% at most stay with high school sweet hearts. If they do that is amazing, and such a cute story to tell your kids. But the other 90% are going to end up divorced or separated by the time they are 25 or so. That is so sad. I think we should play right now and get serious later, cause we do have about 70-75 years with that one person if we get it right. Ya know? So its not like we're going to run out of time for you to find that one person, we have time. Sure we don't know when we're going to depart from this world, but why does it make you want to go faster and not enjoy life so much? As long as you know what it is like to date and have a relationship, and such.. you're fine. At least you know what it felt like. Some may not get a chance for that, so just date and have fun. No serious dating cause it only complicates your life, their life, and anybody else who is involved. I mean, I talk to guys who have girlfriends and I don't like them like that but the girlfriend gets mad anyway. I can't just be friends with a guy just cause his girl is worried.. wow. Grow up, if he is still with you at the end of the day.. then he's yours and not mine, obviously. So if you are seriously dating, that's cool. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and that's what makes this world so great. I believe no one should seriously date in high school.. and you don't have to agree. I don't care, its your opinion and I have mine. I hope I don't offend anyone by this topic, or any other topic I choose to write on. Just think, when you're older what are you going to regret more: something you did do or something you didn't do? I will regret something I didn't do over something I did do. Half my experiences are ones that I'm glad I did and I didn't miss out on. I'd regret if I hadn't of done them. Some things are meant to happen so you can laugh on them later in life. I want to look back at my teenage years and say "hell yeah, those were some fun times". I don't know about you but I'm already regretting the things I had a chance to do but I didn't do.. and I'm only 17! Dang, that's sad. We still have a whole life time ahead of us, so don't go to fast and miss the good years. We deserve to be happy now and when we're older. Don't commit to something if you're not happy about it. If you aren't happy, then why are you doing it? Are you just staying with whats convenient because you don't think you can get something better? What you deserve? Fine. Ruin your life, but I'm not going to ruin mine! (: I tend to live it out by enjoying what I've done and trying not to regret things I should have done. The choice is up to you in the end. Well, its late and I have school. Plus you're probably bored with this, if you've gotten this far.. haha. So goodnight and think about your life before its too late :)

P.S- If you die tomorrow, could you say you lived your life how you wanted too? And you were honestly happy with the things that happened? And you were happy with the things that you missed?

Girls Can't Save You, You're In Trouble.

So this weekend equals boring-ness! :/ I don't mind that I didn't go to jr. prom, its the fact that most of my friends went to jr. prom so I had no one to hang out with like all Friday. But I went shopping and got my vans :) They are yellow and I love them, haha. Then I went and saw Fired Up, its the funniest movie ever. I liked it a lot. Uhm, I did nothing Friday night, I'm really quite a big loser eh?! haha. Oh well, it was way boring. So today my sister came in and woke me up looking for a key. So I got up at nine and couldn't go back to sleep, I proceeded to get ready about nine thirty by curling my hair and stuff. I was quite bored.. And I ended up doing basically nothing today! I really have no life at all. I think I should be put in a box that says "Loser and Loners" haha. OH well, I'm sure I'll find something to do. Seriously today, I hung out with Vannah, just watching T.V then came home. Then went to dinner at Five Guys and liked it for the most part. And once I was home, did nothing. My life is equaling nothing this weekend, I guess its mostly because I have hung out with people the last few weekends. And I liked it :D but now the people are busy and I'm lonely once again. haha. Have you ever looked at something and thought "they look so perfect", Then heard the many billions of problems hiding under the surface and realized "they're not perfect"? Thats what I have realized today. Things are never perfect and if they are, its only cause people are pretending to make you think so! Seriously, I learned things today that are so un-perfect, even if they seemed so perfect. They are not. I didn't know the lies going on behind the perfect image. Or at least the happy image. Can we really not be happy unless we're depending on something else? I thought I was bad but I think the world is in a funk. But yes, I am depending on a boy to keep me happy. And I am disappointed in myself for it! I want to be happy by myself, not depending on some silly boy to help me through anything or whatever. I'm sure I can have fun and be happy without having to think about someone else. I don't know. I'm just really weird.. yup. So yeah, I don't want to write anymore even though I'm bored out of my mind at my house. haha, so goodnight :) Hope your weekend was great!

If I Die And Go To Hell Real Soon.

So I'm quite unhappy with this situation. Its the worse situation I've ever been in.. in my entire life! :/ I absolutely can't stand this. Worst of all, I can't even pretend to be happy about it, its not easy at all. Stupid, stupid, stupid. How can you pretend to not want something when you know you want it so badly? Its a desire in your heart and it kills you to know that this is going on. Ugh. I'm done. I don't care anymore. I will stop caring.. watch me :) I will move on and realize this isn't the worst thing. Also I'll find something better in life, and more worth it. I felt so happy the past few weeks and now due to dumb things I have to change and be unhappy. Its unfair. Why are people so destined to make your life a living hell at times?! Do they really not like you that much at all? Its quite mean to do to someone. Even if you don't like them.. let them live without your stupid problems. Grrr, haha. Oh well, I guess it'll make me stronger? I hope so cause I'm sick of this. I'm eventually going to find a happy place in life and dwell in it haha :) tomorrow will be amazing.. haha, cause I'm a cool loser and didn't get asked to jr. prom. So I'm going shopping to buy myself some vans, its going to be fun :) I love vans.. they are one of the coolest shoes ever. haha, I want to own almost every pair.. haha. But I never will. I went with Vannah today to get stuff for jr. prom and it was fun! I got nothing but ended up having fun hanging out and yeah. She got her jewelry and her nails done. Its pretty cool how they do nails, it fascinated me a lot. I asked the lady about it and what made her want to do it. It smelled really gross in there though :/ I'm not a fan of the smell but the rest was cool. Then we watched Sex and the City :) I love that movie. Its one of my favorites I think. haha, So today was pretty okay. Besides being ignored basically things went okay. I was able to talk to my old best-friend, she's still amazing. She has grown up but still has the same personality to me? haha. I don't know but I miss her. I've missed her for a while. I'm glad we're back in contact now :) haha. Well now onto a new topic: I got a new phone! Its the dare :D and I suck at texting on it. haha, its funny to watch me text cause I really do suck at texting with touch screen phones.. I have to wonder why I got it but then I realize its a cool phone overall. I'm going to be happy with it.. I'm sure of it :) haha. I'm not too bad at taking pictures on it either.. even though I've played with Karina's and my sister's, I am pretty good at the camera! haha. mmhmm, well I think thats all I really want to report about. Not much really going on in my life besides people suck. And I hate it. OH well, I guess I'm suppose to move on and pretend nothing happened.. which sucks!! :( You put your heart and soul into something and end up with a broken heart.. Isn't life great?! haha. I think so. I'm quite tired of this situation though, I really am. SO yeah, goodnight :)

Girl I Think I'm Ready For A Slow Dance With A Stranger.

I've realized I use to update this blog a lot more than I do now. Other people update their blog better than I do. haha, But I've decided I don't really care about updating it every day.. does anyone even read my blog? Probably not. haha, oh well. Hmmm, so the weekend has been good :) I mostly hung out with Karina, she's the best. We hang out a lot but yet we don't really do much. haha, its fun though. We usually end up driving around and doing nothing but listening to music or something. But last night we had some company and it was nice :) Plus it was just plain fun, like I didn't try to be anything besides me. I sang and didn't feel annoying or dumb.. even though I maybe should have? haha. OH, and guess what?! My stress level has dropped down so much. I'm quite happy about this.. :) I turned in my two term projects and I'm pretty dang positive I got an A on them. Then showcase got over last weekend, so now I'm quite relaxed. Show case was way fun. It went by so fast this year, its so crazy. I remember just barely starting out last years team and not really knowing anyone. But now I can't imagine not knowing them. We got our new team Friday! There is 24 girls on the team now.. big team huh. haha, it'll be fun though. There is another Lyndsie on the team though... It kinda sucks cause we'll get confused but it'll be fun cause she is a way cute girl. But yeah, drill team try outs were somewhat nerve racking, haha. They were fun don't get me wrong, but I was a little bit nervous. I always am when I try out for things, but who isn't? If someone isn't nervous at a try out its because they know they are making whatever they are trying out for! Lucky people. haha, I'm now excited for New York (: It is going to be so much fun! I've always wanted to go there, and now I get too! Yup. So last night/early morning, I couldn't sleep for the life of me, I woke up every few hours and had to force myself to go back to sleep... ugh. I love sleeping too. Hmmm, maybe something new is wrong with me? haha. Dude, you'll never believe what happened! So when I was younger, I had a friend who lived down the street from me and we were best friends. The kind that had a fight and went to our own home but then five minutes later called each other saying sorry. I loved it! haha. I was part of her family, but then she moved away and we tried to stay close for a while but it didn't turn out so good. I've missed her quite a bit. She was amazing, I bet she still is. Now to the part you won't believe, she added me on myspace and we're probably going to talk! hahah, (I know I sound really dumb, sorry :/) I'm excited.. :) haha. Yup. Thats what is going on in my life right now, if you wanted to know or not. Have a great day! :)

You Don't Know Me, You Don't Know Me At All..

So this weekend has been fun! (: I've hung out with different people and realized new things. haha, so driving around aimlessly is quite fun. Cause its like no one knows what to do but yet you need to find something to do to not waste gas. But you end up wasting gas anyway.. hahah, its funny. Ever play car games? I have. They are way fun. They keep you entertained and you end up with a few good memories in the end. I think a road trip would be way fun. If its with the right people, one of my friends told me we were going to camping :/ and I wanted to laugh at them cause I don't camp. Yes I'm a girly girl. Total girly girl. Its sad but its who I am. I don't camp, I don't hunt, I don't do a lot of things. hahha, but still they want to go and I'll probably end up going.. it will be one adventure for sure. Things have changed, I don't know if its bad or good but they've changed. Whether I or anyone else even wanted them too. I think its sad to a point but then I remember dumb things that happened and then realize it happened for a reason. So its sad but life goes on. If things are not okay, then its not the end. Yup. Pretty much explains life. This week is going to be crazy! Too much is going on right now. Its very stressful at the moment. Cause drill is getting ready for showcase and we have to do a lot. There is mini clinics this week and our dance is like half way finished! ahh. Then homework piles up on you doesn't it? It like plans out that according to when you'll be stressed or something. I don't know, just seems like it to me. I have 2 term projects due within the next week, and library books too. Crazy, I can't wait for things to relax back down. Then I will enjoy life more than I do now. But yeah, I enjoyed most my weekend even if I had to work both days :( stupid work. I'm not a people person at work.. plus its crazy there too. I now feel bad for the people who have to work at the concession type stuff just for there job. I only do that job for drill man.. haha. Shoot, I'm so lazy. And very weak!! I'm sure you can tell by how little I am (like my arms and legs) that I'm so weak. We got a Wii Fit this week and I suck at it. Plus I have no balance, ahhaha. Sad huh. Oh well, I'll work on it (: Peace out.

Its Friday Night And I Just Got Paid.

Do you remember your pre-teens/early teen years? Most people do, and for those who don't that is very unfortunate because those are some of the best memories I have right now. Its the days you first discover music or decide what type of person you want to be. Its an important time in your life. At least I think so. It builds part of what you're going to become in the next years, the teenager years, where mood swings come without warnings and the opposite sex is so confusing. I refer to them as the good ol' days cause I loved life then. I was only in elementary yet I remember the C.D's I listened to and when I was excited to get a new one. Oh and the walk-men.. I loved that thing, it made it possible to listen to C.D's without others being bugged or annoyed at your music. I had a blue one, and it was the best. haha, I could still sing you lyrics to all the songs I listened to over and over again. My favorite bands were N'sync, (I didn't like Backstreet Boys) Christina Aguilera, re.PLAY, the NOW C.D's, Aaron Carter, etc. Doesn't that take you back thinking about the names? haha, it does to me. I think of when I was younger, and thought I was so cool cause I had these C.D's, and I just wanted more of them. That seems so dumb now, but back then it was awesome. It was way before Ipods came into the picture. Also it was cool to have a 3 or more C.D changer stereo. I still have my 6 C.D changer stereo from like 6th grade. haha, how sad huh. Its so funny to think that we didn't think of the things we now think of. Is that even possible? It doesn't seem so but it must be that way. Cause everyone changes.. its just weird, eh. So a while ago I started looking for all these C.D's and I was so mad cause I couldn't find them. But it turns out my older sister is a THIEF! She has a bunch of my olds ones, and I never knew! ah. I want to burn them onto the computer now and put them all on my Ipod, hahaha. I'm such a loser, I love it (: OH man, and does anyone remember the old Disney shows? When there was Zoog Disney, and the show "thats so weird","the famous-jet jackson","even stevens",etc. Do you remember those? How freakin' cool they were? They still are! I would love to watch them now. Was anyone besides my sisters and I in love with the Lawrence brothers? Joey, Matt, and Andy? haha, they had the show "brotherly love". They were totally good looking! I loved that show, it was one of my favorites. haha, I can remember how when the shows were going off air, they would be played at like 3 A.M, and then just disappear. That was so sad to me, cause one day they just weren't there.. and it sucked. haha. Oh well, do you think the shows we find cool today will soon be the "remember these shows.." soon? If so that is quite sad, apparently even our fashion senses will change too. You know the sayings "the 80's are coming back" or "those remind me of that one pair of pants I had in the 60's" haha, those type of sayings. But back in that time, it was so cool. It was the way to dress. If you didn't, you were lame. haha, I can't wait to see what time will bring with these next years of my life. I just can't believe I'm 17 now, I remember being 11 and thinking this is the life. And now things are more confusing then ever and you have to fight (in a sense) to stay who you are. Its not simple anymore, it has become a lot more complicated. The songs we use to sing and not understand, we now understand. That is so crazy. Its only been 6 years, and I feel so much older. I guess this is how growing up feels. I feel bad for those who can remember the 80's. I mean, wow. Yup. Thats what is going through my head today.. Isn't it great? haha. So yeah, just think about how crazy it is. Anyway goodnight. I hope your Valentines day was just great... valentine or not :D

I've Been Telling You, To Come Home.

Are people born naturally beautiful or do they eventually just grow into it, or never grow into their beauty at all? Is their beauty the kind you get to see once you look past their not so beautiful outside, ya know, their inner beauty.. aka the personality? In today's world, looks do a lot for people, even if someone says "looks don't matter". To a certain point, or person, they really do.. is that bad, or is it a good thing? I help teach dance classes for my sister and sister-in-law at the dance studio my whole family works at basically, at least the girls besides my mom do. And every week in classes I somehow seem to notice if the child is pretty or not, or if they'll grow into it. Certain girls or boys you can look at and think, "wow they're so pretty and so young, wait til their older" Well, what if they turn out to be not so beautiful when their older? Is it because they were blessed with a time of beauty when they were young kids and it didn't matter? I know that everyone is not bad looking, no one is. Everyone is beautiful. (Sometimes in their own special way..) But based on the world we live in today, we judge certain things to be what makes someone beautiful.. is it their hair, or their smile, what about the way they dress? It could be the make-up on a girl, not a whole lot, just enough to point out the beauty. Why do we look up to the models and actors/actresses when we get to see everyday beauty in our lives? In our high school, there has to be quite a few beautiful people, whether its natural or not. Like the girls who don't wear make-up, and don't need too. Or the girl who wears so much but no one cares cause she is beautiful with it on. I think looks add to a persons beauty but all-in-all, they don't make a person beautiful or ugly. Personality adds to someone's beauty, if there is a cheerleader or a dancer that is absolutely beautiful but really mean, is she really that beautiful? She could be the unattainable beautiful. What about that really nerdy guy, ya know the one with glasses and plays in the band? He probably has a really good personality, but his looks aren't the best.. do you really not talk to him because of it? I believe in high school this is the worse, because most (like myself) forget to see the inner beauty of someone, basing off someone's looks is a bad thing, isn't it? Basically in high school, most or part of us want to be in that "popular" crowd, so we try to look good, and act all chill.. when really this "popular" crowd is just a bunch of teenagers trying to find themselves by being themselves and not pretending to be someone else to be cool. Haven't you noticed that? I believe people are liked more on personality than looks, sure looks add to it but its not the main part. There are girls and guys I know, that are well known due to their personality. Some sit there and hate them for it, but why waste time hating them when you could be the same basically? Ya know, show your true self and not care what others think.. then you'll be the one being envied and your just as "cool" as the people you use to envy. It really comes down to not being scared to be your true self, once you find it of course. Everyone loves someone who can be themselves and not be affected by others. We are drawn to these people, they are the beautiful people. We're drawn into them because we want to be like them. We want to find ourselves and be happy. So are those kids who aren't naturally born beautiful going to be blessed with a great personality and find themselves easier? Or are they going to let the world ruin them and just become an "envier" of such people? I want to be someone who judges no one, (working on it) and more comfortable with myself, find myself, and not care. I love the people who know who they are and don't care what you think about them. I believe that sometimes people have low self-esteem due to the models and actors/actresses of today. They get involved in the world of how you have to look to be beautiful, or how you have to act to be beautiful, when truth is all you need is a "I don't care what you think" attitude and great confidence in what you have. It has to be worth something, you're not put on this Earth just to be a nothing. And most times, your beauty, isn't beauty to everyone but only some people. So one person thinks you're gorgeous, and someone else doesn't.. oh well. That kind of leads into, is anyone really that amazing that no one can find a fault? Is there a person who everyone likes? You hear of people saying nice things to their face then the next minute talking bad behind their back like their not even friends.. but a certain someone seems to think so. Why are we lying to someone's face but behind their backs we have no problems telling all? Won't tearing someone down just make you a big bully and the person will realize what they really are, amazing or something? I thought people said when your torn down, and have to build yourself up, its the best way to find yourself? I don't know. I've just been thinking a lot about what makes someone beautiful lately.. Anyway goodnight (:

I Miss The Sound of Your Voice,

"I love just who you are, I ain't goin' try and change ya. You are a shooting star, thats why you are my favorite" That is my latest fav song (: It really is a great song, haha. Anyway, I've been thinking a lot of things lately, honestly I don't remember half the stuff that goes through my head. You would writing on a blog would remind me but it really doesn't.. hahaha. Something I've noticed this week is I love to ask questions about everything and anything! School, the human body, phones, what people say, why things make you think more than they should, love, toys, little kids, etc. My brain just keeps jumping from thought to thought. I never stay on a thought long unless its a really good one, and it hasn't been many good ones this week. One good question I did ask this week is, why is Hilcrest able to do things other teams aren't allowed too?? Seriously, they can break rules but no other team can and they get away with it??! That just makes life unfair even more.. but it did come with a lot of consequences, so I guess in the end they got what they deserved. But yeah, state drill competition was okay, it sucked cause Hunter didn't even place in the top five for any routine :( and we did some good routines that night! Judges can sometimes suck really badly. Oh well, only can hope to do better next year. Which we will :D I'm quite excited for this next month though, cause we are only working on showcase. It will be quite fun. I like these practices. WELL, school has sucked lately. We did get three days to sleep in though, cause people who haven't passed the UBSCT testing had to go at 7:30 to take the test for the past three days and so I passed mine when I was a sophmore.. so I got to sleep in! It was really amazing, I love sleeping. And also the classes were only 55 minutes long, that was AWESOME! haha, I think thats how long classes should always be. An hour and thirty minutes completely sucks. Yep, thats school. So today, at lunch I put my leg in gum =/ it was so gross, I was so mad. Who cannot put their gum in the trash can?? Are you really that lazy? I understand papers and stuff, but gum? That has been inside your mouth, you're just going to put it somewhere random and not care if someone sits in it?? That is absolutely foul. You need to learn manners or something. EW. People are just gross at times. Such as in the movie Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist (best movie everr!!!) This piece of gum ends up from one persons mouth to another, then to another. Its so gross. I wanted to puke so bad. Yuck. I don't really like gum anymore, its kind of gross to me now. haha, oh man. Have you ever wondered where people are going when you look around and notice you're not going anywhere? Such as when you are driving around thinking of things to do, you notice how many cars are on the road. I wonder where people are all going, and how important it is to them. Will it help them or make them more sad or mad? Will where they are going affect where we are all going to end up? Its crazy. So many people on the road, so many places to go, its just crazy. Also, at one point in your life will you run into them and they change your life forever? If so, in a good or bad way? Seriously, when you're on the road next time, notice how many cars are out there. There are a lot. Notice how many questions I came up with from one situation? I love asking them. Even if they are dumb and pointless, it fills my day up. haha, sad huh. Ever since the movie Sex and the City.. I've become addicted. I love that show so much. Carrie asks such good questions that also make me think. About men, about life, about everything. Its weird to believe that in the show they are all in their 30's and single. I don't want to be in my 20's too long and still be single, I'd cry if I was in my 30's. And they have so love making in it, its kinda gross to think about. So I try not to think about it. I'm quite worried I'll end up single and alone in my older years.. even without those really good best friends. I don't want that to happen. I would just want to die if it did. I don't think I can handle some things in life, such as being alone in the end, never finding my soul mate, being worried about money problems, my career, choices in my life, etc. Its just not fun to think about, I don't like to but I'll have to soon. I'm a junior in my 3rd term. It really is sad. Life goes by way too fast, I remember in elementary not even caring about half the things I do now. I don't know.. things just suck I guess. I had one of my best friends choose her guy friends over me this week. That sucked. Then they ended up not liking her as much anyway cause they found flaws that I have seen for a while. I don't know whats in store for her, or for me but I hope we get past this. And she stops choosing others over me. I don't know. I want a new school, new friends, new life, etc. I'm sick of mine. I don't want to build up from here, can't I just start new? Hmmmm, oh well. Anyway, goodnight (: