Friday, June 26, 2009

You're Playin With Your Life This Ain't No Truth or Dare.

So I haven't really wanted to blog. I don't even know if I want to blog now.. haha. I will anyway its not as if I'm doing anything tonight. I slept in too long today! :/ I thought it was earlier but it was not when I looked at my clock. Then I sat there in my bed and didn't want to do anything cause I felt as if I had wasted the whole day. Dannng. Sometimes summer sucks. So I won't give away all details but these past few days have been interesting. I still have done close to nothing with the exception of a few things. So person #1 is kinda weird. I use to like them more than I do now. They just kind of bug me right now and that is bad. But they did some weird things this week that made me want to like hide haha. Some things in life just aren't meant to be seen or heard man.. its true. And the two other people who I talked to about agreed with me so yeah. I truely believe I can wait for a VERY long time now to hear or see such things again haha. It may sound bad, but it really isn't. I'm just bored and going along with whatever, :D Well I'm sure you know but I'm posting anyway, Michael Jackson died yesterday. Thats so crazy/sad. I watched a lot of his videos today and yesterday. He was an amazing dancer. Truely he was so amazing at dancing that he invented his own moves that changed the dancing world. Ever attempted the moonwalk? He was pro at it cause he made it! haha. Thats crazy. He also has the coolest music videos ever. Bad is the best dancing one by far. He seriously dances for the entire time. Not only was he wa pro dancer but a great singer as well. His songs are legends haha. Thats how you can describe them. Its the only way, haha. I like "the way you make me feel" the best I think. Its fun to dance too. One time during pottery, Jacqui, me, and Carly did a dance to it, Lol. Good times. So I love how when he dies everyone googles, twitters, and etc about it. Plus everyone goes out to buy all his CD's and such. Thats kinda funny. I decided to read his biography cause his life was full of media coverage and you never knew what was true really. So to answer my questions, I read it. His life was kinda sad and depressing. From his bad childhood full of abuse to getting addicted to drugs due to media stress. Then all the charges that were filed against him falsely. Dang. No wonder he had problems. I never paid attention to his life much but I remember when his skin color changed. I thought he bleached it himself but I found out he had some disease that like lighting changed his skin tone. That is weird. Its like vitalgio or something. I don't remember but it was weird. Plus he had like 4-5 nose jobs.. wow. I understand the first two but the rest are just interesting. Yeah, I liked his biography it was quite entertaining. I believe media ruined his life. Stupid media. haha, anyway, thats it. I'm bored and don't want to seem obsessed, ha. (: Have a fun friday night!

P.S- He has the best songs ever.. :)

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

In The City of Dreams, You Get Caught Up In The Schemes.


Its officially summer time. I don't know if I'm excited or kinda sad. Its weird cause I like school, it provides my social life in a way. Gives me something to do during the day. I mean I have drill, its fun and all but just doesn't hit the spot? I don't know. During my junior year, I changed and I guess I lost friends. Or people who I thought were better friends than they actually were? I mean, I still talk to some of them. And we are on good terms, which I like but its not how it use to be. I miss it. I know changing is needed sometimes but I don't like it. I don't act very good with changes. My junior year was definitely interesting. I started out with friends that I didn't exactly end the year with. I'm glad my bubble of what I thought was happiness popped though. (haha, thats a weird phrase) I need to realize people will be nice to your face but mean behind your back. About 70-80% of people are like that, myself included. I try not to be. Hmmm, even if it wasn't a superb year, it was a decent year. It taught me a lot and helped me realize what I need to change and not change. I let things happen that shouldn't have, oh well. They happened, I don't regret them. Just miss them. Odd. Off of that sad/depressing stuff, haha. Summer has started out pretty good. Last week of school I hung out with people I've never really hung out with so it was fun. This week has been pretty good. Its just been Granger camp. It hasn't been bad though, I've enjoyed it actually. It was crazy, the hip hop teacher told me that I was pretty good at stompin' and yeah. I find it hard to believe.. haha. I don't think I have one style of dance I'm exactly good at. I'm pretty okay at all styles. I think I'd suck at ballroom though, haha. It was really crazy day. It was Emilie, Lyndsie, and me doing the stompin' at the end of the class. Three white girls rockin' it out. hahah, It was fun. I forgot the stomps and claps though at times. I always forgot parts of the dances when we "performed" it for the group. Even though I wasn't amazing, I had fun. Kickline was hard though, I hope I can do well this year. haha. I've decided the Silhouettes are pretty good this year. We're not amazing or anything.. yet. But we're pretty good. We do good at all the tasks that are asked of us. We don't exactly quit or give up, cause we know we have the team supporting us :) Its gonna be a good year for drill :) I can feel it! haha, Its in my soul. I'm not so sure about how I will do this last year though. I'm worried a bit. Ehh, It'll work out somehow. I hope besides drill, I do something amazing this summer. I kinda want it to be a summer I can remember. Hmmm, we'll see what the future brings.

Something on a more personal level, I am quite worried I'll never find anyone as good as you. You fit me so well, I don't know what I'm doing without you. I'm learning how to survive but its hard. I'll make it through and it will be worth it in the end. You came into my life for a reason, whether I know it now or learn it later. There is a reason. I'm somewhat dependent on people. More than I should be, ya know? I like the idea of independence but thinking back to the fun times having someone there, I like depending on them. Its probably not good. Any ideas on how to save myself before I destroy myself? Ehh.

Goodnight :)