Its officially summer time. I don't know if I'm excited or kinda sad. Its weird cause I like school, it provides my social life in a way. Gives me something to do during the day. I mean I have drill, its fun and all but just doesn't hit the spot? I don't know. During my junior year, I changed and I guess I lost friends. Or people who I thought were better friends than they actually were? I mean, I still talk to some of them. And we are on good terms, which I like but its not how it use to be. I miss it. I know changing is needed sometimes but I don't like it. I don't act very good with changes. My junior year was definitely interesting. I started out with friends that I didn't exactly end the year with. I'm glad my bubble of what I thought was happiness popped though. (haha, thats a weird phrase) I need to realize people will be nice to your face but mean behind your back. About 70-80% of people are like that, myself included. I try not to be. Hmmm, even if it wasn't a superb year, it was a decent year. It taught me a lot and helped me realize what I need to change and not change. I let things happen that shouldn't have, oh well. They happened, I don't regret them. Just miss them. Odd. Off of that sad/depressing stuff, haha. Summer has started out pretty good. Last week of school I hung out with people I've never really hung out with so it was fun. This week has been pretty good. Its just been Granger camp. It hasn't been bad though, I've enjoyed it actually. It was crazy, the hip hop teacher told me that I was pretty good at stompin' and yeah. I find it hard to believe.. haha. I don't think I have one style of dance I'm exactly good at. I'm pretty okay at all styles. I think I'd suck at ballroom though, haha. It was really crazy day. It was Emilie, Lyndsie, and me doing the stompin' at the end of the class. Three white girls rockin' it out. hahah, It was fun. I forgot the stomps and claps though at times. I always forgot parts of the dances when we "performed" it for the group. Even though I wasn't amazing, I had fun. Kickline was hard though, I hope I can do well this year. haha. I've decided the Silhouettes are pretty good this year. We're not amazing or anything.. yet. But we're pretty good. We do good at all the tasks that are asked of us. We don't exactly quit or give up, cause we know we have the team supporting us :) Its gonna be a good year for drill :) I can feel it! haha, Its in my soul. I'm not so sure about how I will do this last year though. I'm worried a bit. Ehh, It'll work out somehow. I hope besides drill, I do something amazing this summer. I kinda want it to be a summer I can remember. Hmmm, we'll see what the future brings.
Something on a more personal level, I am quite worried I'll never find anyone as good as you. You fit me so well, I don't know what I'm doing without you. I'm learning how to survive but its hard. I'll make it through and it will be worth it in the end. You came into my life for a reason, whether I know it now or learn it later. There is a reason. I'm somewhat dependent on people. More than I should be, ya know? I like the idea of independence but thinking back to the fun times having someone there, I like depending on them. Its probably not good. Any ideas on how to save myself before I destroy myself? Ehh.
Goodnight :)
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