Don't Say You Will Unless You Will..

I'm so lost on which way is up and which way is down. Its like a never ending map that leads to your final match. My head and my heart collide and can't decide which route to take upon this map of finding the one. haha, its a weird expression but I'm not sure how else to explain. So, finally telling the guy you like him, isn't what you always want but its a nice freedom to have. Just so the air is clear, ya know? It really is like being set free out of a prison you created for yourself. haha, We waste time not telling the people we like, we like them because we don't exactly want to move on to someone else, when this person seems so perfect. ya know? Thats how at least I think.. As much as I'm not over him, I've been set free now to go for someone else, its a new thing for me. So when you are talking to someone, and a friend comes up and makes up jump but you keep talking to the other person. That friend thinks you are ignoring them, but you aren't. You just want to keep talking to that person, haha. Then trying to explain this in a nice way is hard to do. But today confused me so badly. I want to know Boy 2 better, but yet there is still Boy 1 from earlier. How do you not lose Boy 1 and end up getting to know both better? But don't forget, its gets more complicated.. Boy 3 steps in, thing is, he is taken. Do you care though? hahah no. Life is so confusing. I just want someone. Yeah, thats it. Sorry, I may seem like I'm going after so many but I'm really not. I'm just confused. I don't like this idea of you have to just go with one and hope he was the right one. ya know? It sucks. Boys must think the same way though, I mean without being a player, I want to know more guys. (just as friends). Well boys want the same but just with girls, hopefully! haha, get the jist? Well, while you're trying to be his number one, he is trying to get some other girl to be his number one because he doesn't know if you or her are after him. IDK. Things just go in circles. It just sucks I guess.. but now I think the awkwardness is going away (: Makes me happy. I just want things to work out for once. I hate how I'm kinda into a guy but then I have him hang out with one of my girls and me.. then he goes after her. Its always seeming to happen. Its not fair. GOSH. This just isn't fun. And the hot guys are always taken. Then when they aren't taken, they aren't as hot to you as before. WTF? Like, it sucks. Yep. Just my thoughts about life.. and they aren't great. Geez, life isn't fair. haha. Anyway, have a good day. Enjoy it :D