Its Friday Night And I Just Got Paid.

Do you remember your pre-teens/early teen years? Most people do, and for those who don't that is very unfortunate because those are some of the best memories I have right now. Its the days you first discover music or decide what type of person you want to be. Its an important time in your life. At least I think so. It builds part of what you're going to become in the next years, the teenager years, where mood swings come without warnings and the opposite sex is so confusing. I refer to them as the good ol' days cause I loved life then. I was only in elementary yet I remember the C.D's I listened to and when I was excited to get a new one. Oh and the walk-men.. I loved that thing, it made it possible to listen to C.D's without others being bugged or annoyed at your music. I had a blue one, and it was the best. haha, I could still sing you lyrics to all the songs I listened to over and over again. My favorite bands were N'sync, (I didn't like Backstreet Boys) Christina Aguilera, re.PLAY, the NOW C.D's, Aaron Carter, etc. Doesn't that take you back thinking about the names? haha, it does to me. I think of when I was younger, and thought I was so cool cause I had these C.D's, and I just wanted more of them. That seems so dumb now, but back then it was awesome. It was way before Ipods came into the picture. Also it was cool to have a 3 or more C.D changer stereo. I still have my 6 C.D changer stereo from like 6th grade. haha, how sad huh. Its so funny to think that we didn't think of the things we now think of. Is that even possible? It doesn't seem so but it must be that way. Cause everyone changes.. its just weird, eh. So a while ago I started looking for all these C.D's and I was so mad cause I couldn't find them. But it turns out my older sister is a THIEF! She has a bunch of my olds ones, and I never knew! ah. I want to burn them onto the computer now and put them all on my Ipod, hahaha. I'm such a loser, I love it (: OH man, and does anyone remember the old Disney shows? When there was Zoog Disney, and the show "thats so weird","the famous-jet jackson","even stevens",etc. Do you remember those? How freakin' cool they were? They still are! I would love to watch them now. Was anyone besides my sisters and I in love with the Lawrence brothers? Joey, Matt, and Andy? haha, they had the show "brotherly love". They were totally good looking! I loved that show, it was one of my favorites. haha, I can remember how when the shows were going off air, they would be played at like 3 A.M, and then just disappear. That was so sad to me, cause one day they just weren't there.. and it sucked. haha. Oh well, do you think the shows we find cool today will soon be the "remember these shows.." soon? If so that is quite sad, apparently even our fashion senses will change too. You know the sayings "the 80's are coming back" or "those remind me of that one pair of pants I had in the 60's" haha, those type of sayings. But back in that time, it was so cool. It was the way to dress. If you didn't, you were lame. haha, I can't wait to see what time will bring with these next years of my life. I just can't believe I'm 17 now, I remember being 11 and thinking this is the life. And now things are more confusing then ever and you have to fight (in a sense) to stay who you are. Its not simple anymore, it has become a lot more complicated. The songs we use to sing and not understand, we now understand. That is so crazy. Its only been 6 years, and I feel so much older. I guess this is how growing up feels. I feel bad for those who can remember the 80's. I mean, wow. Yup. Thats what is going through my head today.. Isn't it great? haha. So yeah, just think about how crazy it is. Anyway goodnight. I hope your Valentines day was just great... valentine or not :D

I've Been Telling You, To Come Home.

Are people born naturally beautiful or do they eventually just grow into it, or never grow into their beauty at all? Is their beauty the kind you get to see once you look past their not so beautiful outside, ya know, their inner beauty.. aka the personality? In today's world, looks do a lot for people, even if someone says "looks don't matter". To a certain point, or person, they really do.. is that bad, or is it a good thing? I help teach dance classes for my sister and sister-in-law at the dance studio my whole family works at basically, at least the girls besides my mom do. And every week in classes I somehow seem to notice if the child is pretty or not, or if they'll grow into it. Certain girls or boys you can look at and think, "wow they're so pretty and so young, wait til their older" Well, what if they turn out to be not so beautiful when their older? Is it because they were blessed with a time of beauty when they were young kids and it didn't matter? I know that everyone is not bad looking, no one is. Everyone is beautiful. (Sometimes in their own special way..) But based on the world we live in today, we judge certain things to be what makes someone beautiful.. is it their hair, or their smile, what about the way they dress? It could be the make-up on a girl, not a whole lot, just enough to point out the beauty. Why do we look up to the models and actors/actresses when we get to see everyday beauty in our lives? In our high school, there has to be quite a few beautiful people, whether its natural or not. Like the girls who don't wear make-up, and don't need too. Or the girl who wears so much but no one cares cause she is beautiful with it on. I think looks add to a persons beauty but all-in-all, they don't make a person beautiful or ugly. Personality adds to someone's beauty, if there is a cheerleader or a dancer that is absolutely beautiful but really mean, is she really that beautiful? She could be the unattainable beautiful. What about that really nerdy guy, ya know the one with glasses and plays in the band? He probably has a really good personality, but his looks aren't the best.. do you really not talk to him because of it? I believe in high school this is the worse, because most (like myself) forget to see the inner beauty of someone, basing off someone's looks is a bad thing, isn't it? Basically in high school, most or part of us want to be in that "popular" crowd, so we try to look good, and act all chill.. when really this "popular" crowd is just a bunch of teenagers trying to find themselves by being themselves and not pretending to be someone else to be cool. Haven't you noticed that? I believe people are liked more on personality than looks, sure looks add to it but its not the main part. There are girls and guys I know, that are well known due to their personality. Some sit there and hate them for it, but why waste time hating them when you could be the same basically? Ya know, show your true self and not care what others think.. then you'll be the one being envied and your just as "cool" as the people you use to envy. It really comes down to not being scared to be your true self, once you find it of course. Everyone loves someone who can be themselves and not be affected by others. We are drawn to these people, they are the beautiful people. We're drawn into them because we want to be like them. We want to find ourselves and be happy. So are those kids who aren't naturally born beautiful going to be blessed with a great personality and find themselves easier? Or are they going to let the world ruin them and just become an "envier" of such people? I want to be someone who judges no one, (working on it) and more comfortable with myself, find myself, and not care. I love the people who know who they are and don't care what you think about them. I believe that sometimes people have low self-esteem due to the models and actors/actresses of today. They get involved in the world of how you have to look to be beautiful, or how you have to act to be beautiful, when truth is all you need is a "I don't care what you think" attitude and great confidence in what you have. It has to be worth something, you're not put on this Earth just to be a nothing. And most times, your beauty, isn't beauty to everyone but only some people. So one person thinks you're gorgeous, and someone else doesn't.. oh well. That kind of leads into, is anyone really that amazing that no one can find a fault? Is there a person who everyone likes? You hear of people saying nice things to their face then the next minute talking bad behind their back like their not even friends.. but a certain someone seems to think so. Why are we lying to someone's face but behind their backs we have no problems telling all? Won't tearing someone down just make you a big bully and the person will realize what they really are, amazing or something? I thought people said when your torn down, and have to build yourself up, its the best way to find yourself? I don't know. I've just been thinking a lot about what makes someone beautiful lately.. Anyway goodnight (:

I Miss The Sound of Your Voice,

"I love just who you are, I ain't goin' try and change ya. You are a shooting star, thats why you are my favorite" That is my latest fav song (: It really is a great song, haha. Anyway, I've been thinking a lot of things lately, honestly I don't remember half the stuff that goes through my head. You would writing on a blog would remind me but it really doesn't.. hahaha. Something I've noticed this week is I love to ask questions about everything and anything! School, the human body, phones, what people say, why things make you think more than they should, love, toys, little kids, etc. My brain just keeps jumping from thought to thought. I never stay on a thought long unless its a really good one, and it hasn't been many good ones this week. One good question I did ask this week is, why is Hilcrest able to do things other teams aren't allowed too?? Seriously, they can break rules but no other team can and they get away with it??! That just makes life unfair even more.. but it did come with a lot of consequences, so I guess in the end they got what they deserved. But yeah, state drill competition was okay, it sucked cause Hunter didn't even place in the top five for any routine :( and we did some good routines that night! Judges can sometimes suck really badly. Oh well, only can hope to do better next year. Which we will :D I'm quite excited for this next month though, cause we are only working on showcase. It will be quite fun. I like these practices. WELL, school has sucked lately. We did get three days to sleep in though, cause people who haven't passed the UBSCT testing had to go at 7:30 to take the test for the past three days and so I passed mine when I was a sophmore.. so I got to sleep in! It was really amazing, I love sleeping. And also the classes were only 55 minutes long, that was AWESOME! haha, I think thats how long classes should always be. An hour and thirty minutes completely sucks. Yep, thats school. So today, at lunch I put my leg in gum =/ it was so gross, I was so mad. Who cannot put their gum in the trash can?? Are you really that lazy? I understand papers and stuff, but gum? That has been inside your mouth, you're just going to put it somewhere random and not care if someone sits in it?? That is absolutely foul. You need to learn manners or something. EW. People are just gross at times. Such as in the movie Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist (best movie everr!!!) This piece of gum ends up from one persons mouth to another, then to another. Its so gross. I wanted to puke so bad. Yuck. I don't really like gum anymore, its kind of gross to me now. haha, oh man. Have you ever wondered where people are going when you look around and notice you're not going anywhere? Such as when you are driving around thinking of things to do, you notice how many cars are on the road. I wonder where people are all going, and how important it is to them. Will it help them or make them more sad or mad? Will where they are going affect where we are all going to end up? Its crazy. So many people on the road, so many places to go, its just crazy. Also, at one point in your life will you run into them and they change your life forever? If so, in a good or bad way? Seriously, when you're on the road next time, notice how many cars are out there. There are a lot. Notice how many questions I came up with from one situation? I love asking them. Even if they are dumb and pointless, it fills my day up. haha, sad huh. Ever since the movie Sex and the City.. I've become addicted. I love that show so much. Carrie asks such good questions that also make me think. About men, about life, about everything. Its weird to believe that in the show they are all in their 30's and single. I don't want to be in my 20's too long and still be single, I'd cry if I was in my 30's. And they have so love making in it, its kinda gross to think about. So I try not to think about it. I'm quite worried I'll end up single and alone in my older years.. even without those really good best friends. I don't want that to happen. I would just want to die if it did. I don't think I can handle some things in life, such as being alone in the end, never finding my soul mate, being worried about money problems, my career, choices in my life, etc. Its just not fun to think about, I don't like to but I'll have to soon. I'm a junior in my 3rd term. It really is sad. Life goes by way too fast, I remember in elementary not even caring about half the things I do now. I don't know.. things just suck I guess. I had one of my best friends choose her guy friends over me this week. That sucked. Then they ended up not liking her as much anyway cause they found flaws that I have seen for a while. I don't know whats in store for her, or for me but I hope we get past this. And she stops choosing others over me. I don't know. I want a new school, new friends, new life, etc. I'm sick of mine. I don't want to build up from here, can't I just start new? Hmmmm, oh well. Anyway, goodnight (: