Little Girls, Don't Know How To Be Sweet Girls. Momma Didn't Teach Me.

Well, life is at stand still, once again. haha. I felt like blogging, I am not sure as of why but I felt like it. Last week in my intro to writing class, due to my low ACT score. I had to take a placer test for it. That wasn't fun but I passed. So I get to stay in my english class. College might suck but I'm hoping not. The social life sounds fun, not sure about the schooling though. Uhm, plus I found out last week that I passed my CNA state exam :D Hell to the yeahh. haha, I'm so excited. I knew I passed my skills test. I was just super worried about the written, I'm generally not good with tests like so. But now I can go be a CNA and earn money! yay! Then it was my last drill competition ever, :D it was like usual, at UVU. (my future school!!) We took fifth overall. 5th in dance and military. 6th in kick. So it went pretty well. I'm happy about it. Good way to end the year. :) Now all that is left is showcase and drill is pretty much over. I'm super stoked about that. I love drill but I'm so done. Three years has killed me almost. haha, and we aren't even the hardest working team at hunter.. I mean we work dang hard. I just know other teams are pushing it harder. So yeah. This week has been good so far. I'm goign to get my hair done tomorrow, I was suppose to Monday. But things change. Plus its UBSCTs this week, so classes don't start till like 9:30. And drill has a week off.. :) So I only go to seminary on B days. It is amazing. My A days are no bueno. Seriously, my human biology class isn't fun anymore. I use to enjoy it. And ever since I've changed teachers, it has sucked. But I blame the teacher, he isn't teaching.. he's just talking and having you take notes. Then watching you do poorly on the tests. I've noticed this within a week or two. So yeah, thats my crappy biology class. I'm excited for one semester left. Its crazy, I don't feel like I'm graduating this year. :/ So back to my intro to writing class. We had to write an essay on "who I am". Mine turned out bad, like I semi-predicted. I just worry and do the technical more than the personal. I'm not the class clown, or the one who makes the remarks out loud and people think its cool. I'm more a shy and I need a lot of explanation cause I don't want to screw it up girl. I don't love when teachers just talk but I'd rather be quiet while they're talking then ruin it for the class. I don't know. I just feel like my essay kind of, sucked it up. It didn't show my personality as well as I'd like. Its just hard. :/ yuck. At this age, do we really know who we are? And if you do, how? Its just a hard question for me to answer, smoothly at least. Ehh. I was so exited today. I went right after school to buy the Nick Jonas & the Administration CD :D I love it a lot... already. haha, His voice is so amazing. Plus Vannah cam over and we watched two live chats. It was fun. The girls on there are so funny. :) Today was really good. I enjoyed being with my best friend. She is amazing. :) :) Well I guess that its. I'm off to listen to music. Sleep tight (:

And Somehow I Know There's A Time For Every Star To Shine.

Haven't posted in a month or so.. dang. Glad to see no one has missed me. haha, not really. Well, tis the Christmas season. Last year at this time I was a wreck. I don't think I've changed too much but I'm a better wreck.. you could say. I am more accepting of what is going on than last year. Crazy how time does a lot to you. Anyway, I turn 18 in less than a week. :/ I'm a little nervous. I will be legal, and even though my parents aren't forcing me out.. (thankfully) I feel like I should be more independent and I've failed to do so. I understand being a teen is semi-easy/hard. Your parents help you with a lot. They will continue to do so until you die. But somehow your mind wants to be independent. As much as I wish I could be, its difficult. I haven't really worked in the job field. Its just a whole lot to deal with at once. You have to get set up to go to college, hoping to be able to pay for it all. Depending on the job you want. You want to be financially set up in a way because you feel aweful living off your parents. You're not bad til you're 23+ thats when you know you're bad. Still, growing up seems to be the scariest thing as of now. Where does all this money come from? One point, you're gonna buy a car thats 20,000+ And a place to live. Plus the food and hygiene care.. it just is a lot. Seems like you'll never have a break in life to pay for it. Oh man, I just need to stop thinking about it and enjoy this last part of the year. Off depressing topics.. I just watched All About Steve. OH my, another movie to go on my list of favorites. I love the message. I don't know if I fully understand it but from what I get, I like it. haha, Plus Sandra Bullock is my hero! I love her as an actress. She is amazing, all her movies she is in lately.. amazing. :) AND... Bradley Cooper is so freakin' sexy. Seriously, his movies are awesome as well. haha, ;) But back to All About Steve... Great message. Be unique and love it. Don't let anyone make you feel like you should be "normal". Who wants to be "normal"? Seriously, we weren't born to be normal.. we were born to stand out. Have something different in all of us. I mean yes there will be people who are unique together because there is over millions and billions of people on the Earth. No one knows exactly what is "right" in this world, so dare to be wrong. Be colorful when others are gray.. It can only lead to something good I believe. Chances are, people will like you better when you don't try to be with the "in" crowd. But don't change you who are naturally just cause you don't fit in. It is a good movie, watch it. I will admit its a little weird. But I like weird:) The end credits song is super amazing as well.. :D Its called "Everybody got their something" by Nikka Costa. Listen to the words, its a great message. Makes you feel good about your unique-ness. haha, I enjoy movies:) My other favorites lately are: Princess and the Frog, Proposal, Hangover, and a few more. haha, Movies and music almost complete my life. :/ Hmm, can't decide if thats good or bad.. oh well. Goodnight:D

P.S- I will find my nitch in this world... one day. :)

But If You, Pull Up To My Window.

Its only been forever since I've posted on here. haha, I'm still alive! :D Anway, its my senior year. You'd think I'd be having so much fun.. well I'm not. Its fun, but not what I thought it would be? I am not sure. And lately everything is bugging me. I think its just school that gets me in weird moods. Because I can be fine on the weekends. I rarely don't do too much on the weekends though, so its weird. I'm just in a bad or moody mood lately. I feel very distant from people and I don't know why. I think too much, so I think that has something to do with it. It affects how I act, talk, and etc. I don't know. I'm just ready for a change! :/ High school is overrated.. yeahh. Well, my senior drill pictures were taken a while back. And I want to put them on the net.. well.. we can't figure out how to work our old scanner. Its funny. You should see my parents try to figure it out.. haha. :D Silly old people! I love them. Well, I guess I can tell you what I've been up to lately, whether you care or not. :) So, I went to homecoming this year with my best friend Vannah :) It was soo much fun. We went to the state fair.. and yeahh :) Uhm, I started clinicals for my CNA class. They're okay. Not too bad but somewhat annoying. It just makes you think what you're really living for now. And what you want out of life. Being young really is an amazing thing. Hmmm, I got a new neice this week :) Taytum Betty Jo :D She is adorable. So little and cute.. awww. I love little babies. Long as I can give them back to their parents. haha, I couldn't be a teenage mommy. I'd cry my eyes out. I'd so give it up for adoption because I obviously can't provide well for a child. I can't even do well on my own.. seriously. Also I took the ACT finally :/ It wasn't very fun. They didn't give me much time on the writing test :( I think I did so bad. I tried but my thoughts just didn't get organized til 5 minutes left. It sucked. I hope I did okay, then I took a 5 hour nap and woke up to biology homework! :( This weekend hasn't been much fun for me. But I guess for school you have to sacrifice some things in life. And we need school. But I don't like it. I won't drop out cause that is just dumb. But still.. homework sucks! :( I'm just ready to be done and living a relaxing life. haha, dang. I have a while for that! Halloween is coming up! And I am going to be a nerd :) I don't know what I"m doing that night, but I'mma be a nerd.. :D haha. Purple one. Ha. So I've decided some mormons are hypocrites.. yup. I can be too. Don't think I think of myself as perfect. I don't. I'm no where near perfect! :/ So the Lost Boys is R. And my drill team wants to watch it. One time at drill, I said "hey you know its R right?" And some reply, "yeah, but its from the 80's." Okay, that is so dumb! It is still R no matter what decade it comes from! It hasn't changed since it was made. The rating is still R. So face facts, its R. And no where does it say in the rules of the mormons that we can watch R movies from the 80's. It just says R. So duhh! And if we watch it, then what will we tell our young teenage kids when they ask "hey mom, can I watch Saw?" and we reply "no, its R". They'll say "but its from the year 2000.. so its okay now." Is that really what we want to deal with? I mean if you're still mormon when you have kids and if you follow the rules strictly or not. I mean Saw isn't terrible but it gives some people nightmares. I'm a wimp at scary or gory movies. So to me, they freak me out. I get so paranoid. So yeahh, I just had to get that out cause I think its dumb! But whatever. I think I'm going to be done now.. haha. Night :)

Btw- Joe cut his hair :/ I don't know if I like it...

One Fifty One Rum, Pineapple Juice & Malibu Caribou.

Well, I guess I'll blog to entertain myself and maybe update anyone that might be following me, if they care. I don't know. I haven't blogged in a while. There isn't much point to it. I mean I have ideas and new thoughts all the time but I'd rather tell you than blog about it. haha, wow. uhm, I think since school has started I've decided this year will be okay possibly. I'm taking easy classes right now so its not bad.. haha. Maybe I should challenge myself for senior year but nahh, that doesn't sound fun. I'm not good with stress and a busy busy schedule. I already have it now.. :/ I do wayy to much in one week. I think its good but at the same time sad. I want more free time some days. I start clinicals next week!! :) I'm so excited. I love my CNA class. It will be super helpful getting a job after this class.. so yeahh. Uhm, last weekend was the homecoming dance. I took Vannah. My best friend :) We had a blast! And no I'm not lesbian.. guys just suck and don't ask girls to dances sometimes, so I don't want to suffer cause of it! ha. We went to the state fair, and got sweet tattoos! Then we hit up the homes to get ready and what not. The dance was major fun! I thought we looked so gorgeous ;) hahah, then we chilled after the dance. It was a good date overall. And I don't like asking someone to dances or having someone ask me cause sometimes, its not who you want to ask you. Or its not who you like that asks you. Only sometimes though. So yeah, its crazy. I mean, some people get bad dates. My friend, guy of course, took this girl and fell super hard for her. Bad idea, she's a beezy. So yeahh. Sometimes dates suck. haha, anyway.. that was fun though. I kinda want Christmas to come cause my birthday will be soon!! :) ahhh, so yeah, that is my blog.. haha. Just wanted to update you on my life a lil bit I guess. If you don't read it, I don't care.. haha. :) Night! :)

Before I fall Too Fast, Kiss Me Quick.

ahhh, senior year is sooon! :/ I can't believe I'm still up and I have to be at school soon! holy freak. I don't know if I'm ready. But I've decided that my summer has been everything that I wanted it to be :) I had an amazing summer. I didn't think it was what I wanted when it was all happening but now that I look back at all the things I did do this summer, and wow. It was too amazing. I have to thank my best friends for that too :) Jordyn is amazing! She helped me through a lot this summer and helped me stay not so bored. And Vannah wasn't here the first little bit of summer but she eventually came and we've been having fun ever since. I really haven't seen much of Britt, but she has been there for me when I needed her. Then I met Jackie this summer, and I'm so freakin' glad cause she rocks. I love her so much. They all are amazing in different ways. They have taught me so much and helped me through a lot. Without them, this summer wouldn't have been so amazing. Seriously, I'm glad I've learned so much. I wish summer wasn't over for once. I have changed and grown up. I hope at least haha. I've decided I like my life style. I can't wait til I'm older and can do it on my own with friends more, haha. But this life style is not for everyone, and I'm glad. haha. Yeahh. I grew to love Disney Channel this summer. And 64 Zoo Lane :) They are amazing. So I want to write more but I can't, I'm too tired. So I'm off to set my alarm clock and go to bed :) Senior year, here I come! ha.

btw- live chats are so cool :)

I've Been Wishing On A Star..

Okay, so I'm blogging to get out a bit of anger/fustration? Idk, its just something bugging me. So today at church, (yes I finally went.. lol jk) our young women's lesson was about music and how it plays a big part in your life kinda deal. I believe that. I know music influences me, and I believe I listen to pretty good music. Its not bad or anything, its good for the general part. haha, it may not always be uplifting but its either a good beat or good lyrics. I love dancing to music, so if its a good beat, and I can dance, then yes I generally like it. Or if the lyrics mean something to me, yeah I like it. I do believe some of my songs do have some vulgar or such lyrics but I find it so funny. I think it just makes me laugh or smile, so I like to listen to it. But the teacher started off saying do you know these lyrics, she told us the lyrics to "the climb" by Miley C. Then she tells us of the lyrics to "I am a child of god". After this she says, whats the difference between these two songs? To me, the climb is better because its more fun to listen and sing too. haha, But we're at church and so they say something like "one is more spiritual.." or close to that. She mentions something about the climb not being a good song exactly or what not and that got to me. I like the climb, true its not my personal favorite but its a good song. To those who are lost and don't know where to go, its helpful. Yes this song isn't exactly spiritual or whatever but to a lost soul, its amazing. Or another good song like it, ya know? Maybe one song means something to you but it doesn't mean as much to someone else.. but thats okay. There is so much music in today's world that everyone can have a different favorite, its not like back in the old days haha. My favorite song is, just kidding, I have two! They are "she is love" by Parachute and "one and only" by teitur. These songs stand out to me, they are so beautiful. I think its cause right now they say my outlook on life or love kinda thing. And these songs aren't about god, or spiritual-ness. But they are about something much more to me? Idk. Its hard to explain I guess. Not everyone wants to listen to gospel music all the time, I love the different styles of music. I don't listen to them all but they are out there if I ever do. As much as the gospel music is helpful and good, its not? The teacher mentioned that songs like the climb aren't exactly bringing confidence into us and songs like I am a child of god do. Yeah that song does but not in the way I want? I like the climb because its not exactly confident. The lyrics "Every step I'm taking, Every move I make feels Lost with no direction My faith is shakingmy faith is shaking". I think these are more me than "I am a child of god and he has sent me here, has given me an earthly home with parents kind and dear". I relate more to the climb lyrics than those. Sad? Cause I'm not always sure of my self, I sometimes feel like I don't know where I"m going. Ya know? Most teens do so its easier to relate too. I think it is at least. Idk, it just seems weird to go to religious music for help. I know the lyrics to more non-religious than I do religious. haha, I feel like such a non-religious person. :( ahhh, religion is just too confusing. It easier just to not believe most days. Hmm, my after life will probably be bad haha, sad life. oh well. But just the lesson bugged me. Then she says at the end, to delete bad music off your ipod.. ha, I have over 1,400 songs on my ipod. If I get rid of the bad then that leaves me with 30 or 40 songs in total :( No wayy. I like my bad music! :) Sorry, its just me. I don't know if you got my drift or if you think I"m totally weird. I don't know how to say it but somehow it means something to me. I'm never able to say exactly what I mean, and I don't like it but finding the words is hard sometimes. So yeah, this is kinda weird.. or awkward.. so bye? Have a good day... :)

You Can't Have World War Three.

Ah, geez. I feel like I haven't blogged in forever! hahah, sad life. Anyway, I don't know if this blog will change your life or what not but I guess it will update you on the un-crazy life I have. :) Well, I went to Vegas the second to last week of July, so the third week? lol, it was fun! Vegas is hot. Wow, You could go outside in your swim suit and still sweat to death. But I don't think you should do that, unless you want people to stare at you. In a bad way. haha, The reason I went to Vegas was to learn how to be a stripper ;) jk, haha, uhm no I went to Vegas for a dance convention. It was soo cool. It reminded me why I love dance so much. Dance is really amazing, drill just made me forget that. So its called the Tremaine Dance Camp, I think. And the best dancers in the world are teaching you dances for three days straight. So you get up and go dance from 7 a.m. to like 4 p.m, it was long but fun. And so many people were there! I'd like to say they were all girls but I had some guys in my senior classes. It was cool. I love male dancers lol. They are so amazing, and they make dance even more beautiful. Its sad to say but sometimes female just don't make it as pretty as male. haha. Crazy! Oh and there was the Tremaine dance company or whatever, and they had amazing dancers! I loved watching them dance. I would watch them all day if I could. I loved how they would partner up too. I like watching couples dances more than single dances. Ya know? Especially when its male and female ones :) They can be so beautiful. I wish I could dance that way. I'd love too. haha, The Tremaine dance company is so lucky. They get to travel all over and dance. I'm so jealous. And they get to dance with amazing choreographers and dancers! These people changed my life. I saw some good and bad dancers, either way it was fun. I didn't really make friends. I met this one girl, she lives in Colorado though. So yeah, she was cool though. Besides that I looked like a loner. Hhaha, so while in Vegas I got a temporary tattoo. And the ink had to dry so people were staring at me as we walked the strip. I got it on my left hip btw. It was so cute. So yeahh, I had people staring at my skin that I usually cover up. haha, at first it was weird but then I got use to it. Uhm, I went with Jamie and Taryn. That was fun. We shared a king or queen bed! ha, three girls in one bed. Good times. On the first night we went to Margaritaville! haha, that was so fun. Some guy on stilts stared at me for the longest time, he was kinda creepy but then he left to talk to other customers and then came back. And I said hi and he smiled. So he wasn't too creepy. That place has good food and fun entertainment. haha, kinda slutty though. This girl in a bikini? slided down some waterslide and danced around. I bet men love this. So yeah, that was fun. Uhm, the next day we went to Cirque de Soleil. Duuuude that is so amazing and scary! ahhh, It was the Beatles Love show :) I love the beatles.. :) It was amazing though. I can't believe people do that will their lives, its a cool job. haha, I hope to go see another Cirque de Soleil soon! I love them. And if you take me there, I'd love you forever. :) haha, uhm, then friday we just came home after our dance classes. I liked Vegas, I want to go there next year for a roadtrip with friends. Like a senior trip. haha, it'd be soo cool. Oh, and thursday night, my chaperones decide to go gambling at one a.m.! wow, that was fun. They learned how to play 21 and yeah. I got kicked out of the casino :( Gay security guard.. I hate him. I was just watching! geez, so I got to sit at one a.m, on the curb of the strip in Vegas. I love people staring at me. Its awesome :D I found a bible page on the strip too. Jesus is in Vegas ;) So yeah, that was my trip for the summer haha, my parents went to some place I forgot. Hmm, I was suppose to go with them but I didn't. Yeahhh.

Then I went to youth conference the last week of July! wow. You should be in shock! lol, jk. It was pretty fun. Not too bad, times it was boring, the leaders weren't thrilling but hey. Good times. Never forget those adventures. The best was when we went to Camp Williams and I got to attempt to play football with some cute guys :) haha, yeahh. Leaders weren't happy with me. haha, oh well. I hung out with Jordyn a lot in July! She is my love, haha. We have amazing times together. I wish we lived closer.. haha, :) So while I'm blogging I'm also watching Jonas concert videos :) haha, I"m still obsessed.. haha, I love it. Yeahh. Well, I guess I can get into more personal issues without going too far into them now. So boys suck. Usually their own but yeah. They just think you they can use you whenever and don't expect any consequences from it. WTH. No way, when you deal with girls, lets be honest.. we get emotional. Whether we tell you about it or not, we do. We get hurt and end up learning a lesson from it. But thats after we get over it. During the heartbreak part, where we are emotional, we're messed up. We often cry, yell, become raunchy. Face facts, its a girl thing. Every girl does it. I know I sure do. So there is this boy, and he pisses me off. I hate him but I unfortunately can't live without him. Dang, I hate you. He thinks I can't be with another guy but he doesn't want me? WTF. Are you kidding? How gay are you? Oh well, I've decided I"m just gonna piss him off now :) He will regret this decision to be a dick to me, he will. ha, Then this other guy is like annoying. geez, I am sorry if I ever annoy you. Please just tell me to shut up. It might hurt me, but do it cause I don't want to be annoying. I try not too. Another thing, this annoying guy has no grammar when he texts me. That bugs me so bad. Learn grammar! We're in school for a reason. Wake up now.. geez. But this annoying kid is cute in some way. Its weird. So yeah. Boys suck. I've decided I don't want to get close to boys unless we're just friends haha. Right now boys will only break your heart. Mmhmm, boys suck. Case closed. :) I've decided a new outlook on dating, and I'll wait for college to do it. haha, ;) It'll be fun and I'm going to become very talented lol.

So I watched Prince & Me.. Its so cute. SO fake, but cute none the less. I wish I had a prince who would wait for me. haha, these movies give bad hope to girls everywhere. Thats where we went wrong, movies such as princess ones when we were little kids ruined us. Boys aren't anything like them. Dang it.. But yeah, you should watch that movie. Its adorable. Hmm, well I blogged about my trip, boys suck, and a movie, yay! Uhm, so I"m off to go do something.. I don't know yet. SO peace out, (as cameron says is better) :D

P.S- I'm excited for Glee :)