Do you think a year can really be a transformation time for you? Do you think you really have changed or you just realized what is wrong and what you need to fix but haven't yet? In some ways I feel that I have changed since last year but I am unsure if they are permanent or just temporary. The reason I bring up this idea of change within a one year period is because last year at this time, I was sitting in my car dealing with a car accident that had just happened with me. It was an accident that I will never forget nor will it ever stop being a thing to make me tear up at the thought. It's hard to remember all the emotions I was going through at this time but I am sure able to realize how I felt. I still remember a lot of that incident but I don't know how it is turning out. The law is a fickle thing my friends, I am supposed to know some information of said incident that happened a year ago but alas it isn't in my knowledge repertoire. Is it also said that I remember feeling like a whole different person on this night a year ago? Tonight, instead of finding friends to hang out with, I chose to come home and watch my latest obsession, Veronica Mars the tv series. Last year, I was always dying to be out and about with friends.
This whole year has been a definite life change I'd say. I have learned I am unsure in my future career, I am unsure who I am, I am unsure that I don't know where the hell my life going, or sometimes who I think people are. I know that learning who you are takes time and a life time of knowledge, but I wish I could figure out a career I could do. Maybe I'll learn with my last semester of college for my AA approaching and soon ending. oh the bittersweet happiness of that. Does life always look like a big black hole waiting to swallow you up or is that just my future? Maybe I'll have one defining moment upon which I will figure out the vast black hole I call a future.. who knows.
Alright, I'll stop with my lost thoughts of life but I am pretty excited to go to Idaho this week to see my BFF of over ten years Britt. She gets married next weekend and lives happily ever after. It is quite adorable. I am so happy for her! With my luck, I'll be amazed to find my prince charming before I'm 30 but hey, I can travel and focus on me right? haha. I'll leave destiny and fate up to their games of fun with my love life future. Till they show a sign, I don't care. I have a few close friends and a future of my career to figure out.. this will be fun!
Alright, Peace out girl scouts! I'll write again sooner than later.. like any of you care. ;)
PS-sorry I haven't written in years.
